


I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp... Three Times

by Vyvrik



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Combeferre is a very persuasive friend, Enjolras would rather be anywhere else, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Grantaire is a watersports instructor, M/M, Request prompt- I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp 3 Times, Request prompt- Post secrets, it's basically a love story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:01:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2192751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vyvrik/pseuds/Vyvrik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've got a bone to pick with the man you call god."</p>
<p>So Enjolras is a petulant teen, all sweet and innocent at 16. Actually maybe not that sweet. Or innocent... There is, perhaps, an element of the entitled spoilt brat about him. Combeferre is 17, their incredibly privileged old money families are old money friends, spending their incredibly privileged summer holidays together. During their childhood they were the best of friends, but this year, things have changed.</p>
<p>Combeferre's father is a minister and requires his only son to follow in his footsteps, and in order to do that has requested he attend the same Theological College he did years before. As the eldest son of an alumni, he has one foot in the door already, and all he has to do is a summer bible camp for extra credit. He asks Enjolras to come along, aware that it may be the final time they ever get to spend summer together. Enjolras is unamused. Religion is not his thing, but for the sake of his friend he is willing to sacrifice his summer in order to spend some time with him, for what he feels is the final time too... for Enjolras has a secret. A secret he is sure Combeferre would never accept.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, at Bible Camp, they meet Grantaire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Was Going To Be A Long Week

**Author's Note:**

> Request prompt- one of the real life anonymous postcards in a PostSecrets book simply said "I Had Gay Sex At Bible Camp, 3 Times."   
> Write that, she said.   
> Ok, I said.   
> Here it is.
> 
> There's a lot more plot than the title suggests, and the title keeps getting complaints, either from people who find it offensive, or from people who are drawn in by it then find it's not all porn as they expected. Can't win! I did change it, then I got a complaint about that too, (they thought I was giving in, bless em) so I thought ah fuck it, and changed it back.
> 
> So yeah, if you haven't seen a Post Secrets book you might find yourself amused for a rather diverting half hour if you ever come across one. It's a collection of real post cards people could write and send anonymously to an address to be collected and published in book form.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Enjolras, please? I don't wanna go the whole summer without seeing you at all. Anyway, the place might surprise you, it might be full of reprobates and perverts, that'll be right up your alley!"

PROLOGUE  
\--------

"You're going where?"

"Enjolras, I.."

"No Combeferre, I always come to your house for at least some of summer, every fucking year dude, since like, forever, it's the only time I get to be free, and now you're taking that away from me? You suck,"

"I know, but.."

"But this year you fucking just fob me off like I don't matter, ditch me! For fucking bible camp??! Bible camp? I mean really, come on! How old are you?!"

"Enjolras if you just.."

"No Combeferre, I'm not fucking happy, I gotta cancel my plane now and everything, I can't believe you're just gonna..."

"Enjolras!! LISTEN!"

"No, you listen! This whole thing with you and God has gone too far, you're letting it take over your life! And dude, fuck sake man, these are meant to be the best years of your life right here right now! And how are you gonna manage that with God breathing down your fricking neck all the god damned time? I mean, hell, it's bad enough with my dad, but God as well, fuck that shit dude!"

"Enjolras! Shut the fuck up! Just listen! You don't need to go cancelling flights or any shit like that, and I'm gonna ignore everything you just said you mouthy little fuck, 'cos if you'd just shut up for one second you'd know that I was gonna ask you to come with me,"

"Bwahahahahaha! Hang on... dude, what the fuck? You serious?"

"Yes I'm serious! I feel bad enough as it is with all your bitching and moaning, I wanna make it up to you, c'mon, whaddaya say?"

"You wanna make it up to me at bible camp?! Pffft, dude, you know that part where I said the best years of your life, fucking bible camp is not how I expected us to be spending them together,"

"Yeah, but you said the operative words right there, spending them together, that's the whole point right? It'll be fun!"

"Hmph!"

"It will! Okay then, how exactly did you think we were gonna spend summer then?"

"You mean how I still am gonna spend it! Dude, I'm talking the beach, the beach house, parties at the beach house, parties on the beach, booze, more parties, learning to drive, checking out cars with dad and then more parties, getting laid, and did I mention the beach? You know! Fun stuff!"

"Enjolras, you're only sixteen!"

"So? You were doing all that shit when you were my age."

"Yeah, but then I saw the.."

"Yeah yeah, the error of your ways, don't I fucking know it,"

"C'mon man, you believe in God dontcha?"

"Dude, I believe in fucking living in the here and now, and the only reason you stopped doing that and suddenly found so much time for God, is 'cos that hot piece of ass you were chasing got herself a new boyfriend! Did she not meet daddy's approval?!"

"Don't start that again,"

"Yeah, so you got yourself a new man instead, fucking God! Lame dude, lame."

"Enjolras don't..."

"Look, I don't have a problem with people believing. They can believe what they want, as long as they let me do what I wanna do, believe what I wanna believe. And bible camp sure as hell is not the place for that,"

"Enjolras, please? I don't wanna go the whole summer without seeing you at all. Anyway, the place might surprise you, it might be full of reprobates and perverts, that'll be right up your alley!"

"Oh ha ha. Yeah whatever." Enjolras huffed, and Combeferre could practically see him slump down in his seat and cross his arms moodily across his chest through the phone. "Okayyyy fine, I'll come. As long as we do something I wanna do when we get out..."

"When we get out?! You make it sound like prison!"

"More like hell..."

 

 

 

*********************************************

 

 

Enjolras sighed, sinking back into his seat on the packed coach as he finished re-reading all the paperwork. He had to get it ready to hand in at registration as soon as they arrived at Camp Emmaus.  
He rolled his eyes as he read the line about having a 'worship experience'. Man, he really was starting to regret all this bullshit, and was slightly worried about what he'd got himself into.  
Little did he know when Combeferre convinced him, no, begged him, to go with him to bible camp, that he'd have to fill in half a forest of forms and sign his life away about a million times. 

'Think of the canoeing, waterskiing, and..er... campfires... canoeing, waterskiing...canoeing, waterskiing...' he reminded himself for the millionth time, that was the only reason he'd gone along with it anyway, well, that and to spend some time with Combeferre.

He chanted it like a mantra the whole rest of the ride, bored out of his skull while Combeferre snored beside him and everyone else read their bibles. Yeah, you heard right, read their bibles... which fuck, he forgot to go and buy one, the one essential part of this whole ordeal and the one thing it completely slipped his mind to get.  
Obviously his subconscious was trying to tell him something...

He sighed warily again, grumbling to himself about bible camp being so god damned far away, as he stowed the million forms in the pocket of the seat in front of him, cursing the person who decided to ban them bringing any kind of electronic entertainment.  
No Gameboy, no Zelda, no Mario, nothing.  
He couldn't even listen to music, cd players were banned too, everything electronic meant everything fun. What kind of sadists were these people? He wasn't even allowed to bring his phone! It was a brand new Nokia 3210 too, he was not happy. His folks weren't too happy about that either, they would've preferred him to check in with them at least once or twice seeing as they were going to be so far away, but rules were rules.  
But still, right now it meant he couldn't even play any of the shitty low quality games his phone had and that meant he was going out of his mind. He'd been right in the middle of an awesome Zelda Gameboy mission on the flight over from Combeferre's and couldn't believe he had to leave it behind. 

He did consider bringing them with him, to make the journey at least halfway bearable, but he knew they'd be confiscated when they got searched on arrival. He couldn't bear the thought of losing his beloved games, it'd take him aaaages to get back to the level he was at, if he had to start again that was, especially on Zelda. And even if he got it back at the end, he just didn't trust anyone else not to mess with his console. He'd rather be miserable and bored than risk losing that Gameboy.

He settled down for the last leg of the journey wondering how on earth he was going to make it through all these arduous tasks, bible reading was bad enough, naturally, but why did he have to watch a musical production put on by the fucking staff?! WTF??! And go to a banquet?  
A banquet?!  
Round the campfire apparently, ah, just like all the other meals... 

It was meant to be a canoeing and waterskiing camp wasn't it? Yet he had to bring 'semi-dressy' clothes for this fucking banquet. Man, dressy clothes?! Enjolras didn't have a problem with looking good, he just had a little trouble seeing the fucking point when they were only going to be doing the exact same thing they'd be doing every other night- praying and eating round the damn campfire, just at a different location.  
Combeferre said it was to put on 'a good impression for the opposite sex', and make 'possible accquaintances for the future'.  
Pfffffft.  
Man... it was gonna be a long week...

 

............

 

Enjolras stepped off the coach, glad to finally be stretching his legs. He put his backpack on the ground, folding his arms across his chest and stared up at the entrance to Camp Emmaus as he stood waiting for the rest of his stuff to get unloaded from underneath the bus.  
Combeferre ambled up beside him, still sleepy and smiling sheepishly, feeling guilty for leaving Enjolras to amuse himself and get steadily grumpier the further they travelled without anything to keep him occupied. Combeferre had many an experience of a bored Enjolras and knew the look on his face all too well.

"How long was I out?" he chuckled as Enjolras regarded him sternly, 

"Long enough for you to have to make it up to me," he answered cooly, raising his eyebrows as a group of girls ran by them squealing as they recognised friends from previous years, his face not amused.

"People come here more than once? And are happy about it? What the fuck." he shook his head, mock incredulous as Combeferre heaved their packs over.

"Yeah man, and then they go on to be counsellors when they're too old to camp, c'mon, let's go!"

"You sound way too eager about all that, you're not thinking of doing it are you?"

"I dunno, maybe, would be good experience for me for when I follow my old man into the ministry,"

Enjolras hmph'd loudly, Combeferre knew his opinion on that matter, and it wasn't favourable to say the least.

"If you do that I'll never speak to you again, I told you that," he was half heartedly threatening, but meant it at the same time as he glared at him, hoisting his pack up onto his shoulders.

Combeferre stopped in his tracks, looking back at him forlornly, "Don't be like that..."

"I know, I know, you'll still be the same awesome guy... blah blah blah," but deep down Enjolras knew he wouldn't be, because he knew he could never accept Enjolras for who he really was if he ever took on his intended vocation, because he wouldn't be _allowed_ to accept him. And that's why Enjolras could never tell him the truth, he'd rather live a lie than live rejected. 

Especially rejected by Combeferre. 

They regarded each other for a moment, the things left unsaid hanging between them, as Combeferre looked hurt and Enjolras looked rejected without even having to admit anything.

"C'mon then, let's get this over with," he sighed.

"I _will_ be the 'same Combeferre'..." he offered quietly, but Enjolras had already marched ahead of him and joined the long queue forming at the registration tables.

He looked around at the other kids surrounding him, talking and laughing excitedly, they all looked so wholesome, and so happy to be here, he just didn't get it, how they could live their lives by a book, a book that condemned him and everyone else like him. He took it as a personal insult and he couldn't help it, in fact, he had a sudden urge to get some tattoos and piercings and maybe a mohawk too while he was at it.

They stood quietly in line, taking in the atmosphere and listening in on the chatter around them, Combeferre warming up to it all and Enjolras sliding deeper into a dark mood. As he stood with his brow furrowed and his arms folded he looked up the line to see what was taking so long, and saw a bunch of trendy looking older guys and girls sitting behind a table going over everyone's papers. He was trying to make out what their matching t-shirts had on them as he squinted at the one nearest to him, and he couldn't supress a derisive chuckle when he realised what it said.

"'Ferre, look," he nudged him in the side, "What the fuck are those? That's what you're gonna have to wear if you come back, you do realise that right? That should be good enough fucking reason not to do it!" he hissed out the side of his mouth as his giggles consumed him. 

Combeferre craned his neck as he tried to eye up the shirts, "You're gonna have to watch that filthy mouth of yours Enjolras, it could get you in trouble in a place like this," he whispered back, 

"I know, I know, Christian language only, I did read the paperwork believe t or not, all 5 million pages of it, anyway, you're just as bad!"

"I know, but only around you, your bad habits rub off on me... Oh, man I see what you mean," his eyes widened as he caught sight now of the shirts Enjolras had been alluding to, trying to read as they moved up in the queue, "Jesus is my homeboy! Oh fucking hell..." 

"Language!"

They both snorted with laughter, shoulders knocking together as the tension from earlier evaporated completely and everything between them went back to normal. Enjolras still felt out of place, as if he was about to be discovered at any moment, but he was glad to be here regardless, well, not here exactly, but with his friend, and if that happened to be here, then so be it.

They settled into a companionable silence as they waited, not so patiently in Enjolras' case as he constantly looked up ahead to see how much longer. One particularly cute counsellor guy caught his eye and winked, taking Enjolras by surprise and he looked around to see if he meant it for someone else, but when he looked back the guy was smiling right back at him. Enjolras didn't know where to put his face, had he been staring at him by accident? 

He turned back around to Combeferre, hiding his embarrassment and confusion behind a random comment about the weather. Combeferre looked at him funny, and at his murmured agreement Enjolras snuck a look back towards the front as they crept forward, averting his eyes as the guy looked up to call for the next person in line. Enjolras swore under his breath as he realised he might have to report to this strange man smiling down the queue at him. 

He was undeniably cute, so Enjolras was sure he was imagining things, he couldn't be looking at him, surely, but he started to feel self conscious the closer they moved ahead. He watched as the people up front went to register with the guy on the end, then to the girl on the far left, and there were still two people in front of him. 

He breathed a sigh of relief as the guy in question dismissed his recruit and looked back up the line, but instead of calling next, he seemed to suddenly have to write down a whole load of stuff and shuffle his papers, then he dropped his pen on the ground and rummaged around down there for a while. 

Enjolras watched nervously as the two girls in front of him went to the next two guys along, good, good, his turn, maybe that girl on the end, she seems to be finishing up, or maybe not...

"'Ferre, you wanna go..."

"Next!"

"Shit..."

"Huh?"

"...never mind..." Enjolras swore again and made his way over to stand nervously in front of the desk, dumping his pack at his feet and fiddling with the pile of papers he clutched tightly in his hand.  
_'Shit, this guy is gorgeous,'_ He felt sure a prominent blush crept up his cheeks at the thought, and he bit his lip shyly as he realised he'd been checking him out so blatantly.

"Hey there," Big green eyes were staring up at him as the guy pushed untamed raven curls from his forehead as if to see him better. Enjolras felt his resolve weaken as he fought not to stare completely unashamedly.

"Hey,"

"I'm Grantaire, welcome to Camp Emmau,"

"Er, thanks... Enjolras." he handed over his papers, shifting slightly from one foot to the other, fiddling with the shoulder strap of his backpack and looking around casually, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible as the still smiling Grantaire went over all his details.

"So... Enjolras," 

Enjolras liked the way his name seemed to reverberate around his mouth first as he sounded it out before effortlessly dropping off his tongue, he was mesmerised, "Yeah..."  
He confirmed his name, age, address, all the while avoiding his eyes. Combeferre walked up to the desk alongside him, a welcome distraction, and he smirked, grateful for something to focus on, hoisting his backpack further up on his shoulder.

Combeferre winked, flashing him a toothy grin, completely unable to contain his excitement as he in turn confirmed his own details and was given the time of his swim test. Enjolras shook his head at him, laughing at his over-enthusiasm as he turned back to the desk, the mention of swimming jolting him back to reality as he realised he'd almost entirely forgotten to pay attention. 

Combeferre often had that effect on him. 

Grantaire smiled at him, and Enjolras was instantly captured in his eyes once more, realising he'd been watching the exchange with Combeferre with interest as he ticked boxes down his list.

"So Enjolras,"

"Yeah?"

"You and, uh..."

"Combeferre,"

"Combeferre." There was that voice again, oh god, Enjolras had to remind himself to pay attention, "You two come here together?"

Enjolras' blush returned with a vengeance as he frantically wondered exactly what Grantaire was getting at, "Uh, well, I..."

"It's just I noticed you've both travelled a long way to be here today,"

"Yes," Enjolras nodded emphatically,

"And have you ever joined us at Camp Emmau before?"

"No,"

"So do you know anybody else here?"

"Er no..."

"Okay, you'll be getting paired up with different people randomly all week, so what I'll do, is I'll put you in the same team so you at least know each other, that work for you guys?"

"Oh, right, okay then," Enjolras let out the breath he'd been holding, an enormous sigh of relief escaping as Grantaire leant over to look at the next counsellor's list.

"Okay, so, Combeferre... where is he... Ah, there," Grantaire pointed, "...is in group C, so that means you'll be camping at zone C too, and your swim test is at three. Got it?"

"Yep,"

"Good, okay, so..." he shuffled through a box of laminated cards as he talked, "That's where you're headed to now, it's a secluded little site at the end of that path tonight," he nodded over in the direction, "So you need to unpack your tent. Get yourself set up and get changed, and be ready to report to the lake at 14:50, by the pier, okay?"

"Okay, got it,"

"Good. Then after that it's general orientation, and then we get let loose on the challenge course. How's all that sound?"

"Sounds good!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Good man! See you there then," Grantaire smiled, producing a card with all Enjolras' details printed on it, like a drivers license, with a pin attached to the back like a badge. "Just in case," he added, seeing Enjolras looking at it inquisitively, "Keep it pinned inside your pocket at all times," he said seriously.

"What, so you'll be able to identify us when we drown in the rapids?!" Enjolras' eyebrows furrowed in consternation as he promptly pocketed it, looking back up into Grantaire's now concerned eyes, "Will you be the one who rescues me?" he couldn't resist a smirk as he lowered his eyes again, before looking back up hesitantly as he realised how that might've sounded.

Grantaire visibly relaxed, "Yeah, I think we could come to some kind of arrangement,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "I won't let anything happen to you, well, not anything bad anyway,"

"Promise?" Enjolras couldn't help his face light up, " 'Cos you do realise I'm going to hold you to that don't you?" his smirk was getting cheekier by the minute but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah, I promise." Grantaire smirked back, and Enjolras hoisted his pack up off the ground and onto his back, "Any final questions?"

"Yeah," Enjolras' eyes flicked down to Grantaire's chest, focussing on the Buddy Christ from Dogma styled image of Jesus and tried not to laugh as he found himself asking when they'd get to wear shirts as super cool as those?! 

But it was Grantaire's response that made his heart pound in his chest, "Oh don't you worry, if you misbehave, I'll make you wear mine," he winked, and Enjolras laughed, 

"Careful, I might just hold you to that too!" he walked away to join Combeferre who was waiting for him and they headed out to find their campsite.

"See, looks like you've made a friend already, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

"Are you insinuating that's something I'd have trouble doing?! I assure you 'Ferre, I've never had any problems getting accquainted..." he looked back over his shoulder, Grantaire was immersed in his next recruit's paperwork but smiled again when he looked up and caught Enjolras staring. Enjolras smiled back, making a mental note and filing it away under 'things to think about' in his brain.

Grantaire was fucking gorgeous, but Enjolras was at bible camp after all, _bible fucking camp_ and he wasn't sure what the christian line was between friendliness and flirting... Heh, if he was elsewhere, he'd definitely have thought Grantaire was flirting with him, but here, under these circumstances, the chances were surely less than zero, slim to none, all of the above, right? 

Enjolras wanted to be sure before he took any chances and got himself thrown into the firey pits of hell, because it could very easily be that Grantaire was simply just a nice guy, like Combeferre was...

He was shaken from his reverie by Combeferre at that exact moment, who was enthusing quite dramatically about the girl who'd registered him.

"Did you see her tits?! Enjolras that tshirt was so tight on her! Did you see?!"

Enjolras looked at him, crestfallen, "Er, no, sorry dude, can't say I noticed,"

"You didn't notice?!" Combeferre exclaimed accusingly, "But she was smokin'!"

"Really? Sounds like I missed out,"

"Yeah! Damn straight dude! I can't believe you didn't notice!"

"Well sorry! Geez man, it's not the end of the fuckin world! I guess I was a bit, I dunno, preoccupied maybe, like, registering and all,"

"Yeah, you must've been." Combeferre gave him a very strange look, turning up the path towards their camping area.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Enjolras wanted to know, trotting behind him.

"What?"

"I dunno, you're the one shooting me funny looks,"

"Am I?!"

"Yeah," Enjolras stood defiant, hands on hips, waiting for an explanation.

"Sorry man," Combeferre wasn't looking at him, "I didn't mean to, it's nothing anyway, don't even worry about it,"

But it was something, and Enjolras knew it. Combeferre knew it too, but he'd never say anything. He'd never tell Enjolras that he'd noticed, that he'd seen the way Enjolras was sometimes, the way he was looking at that guy just now, the way he looked at him sometimes... no, he'd never say anything. 

It was wrong, right? Enjolras didn't know what he was doing... right? That was one of the reasons Combeferre wanted him to come here in the first place, to help him get through it, because it was just a phase he was going through, right? He was still so young...

"Okay," Enjolras decided he'd be better letting it drop, and followed Combeferre quietly up the path towards zone C, wishing it didn't have to be this way, thinking about how every step 'Ferre took closer to becoming a minister, was going to be a step further apart in their friendship. The cracks were already appearing, it was evident even with all the things left unsaid. He didn't want to hide things from him, not at all, quite the opposite in fact, he wanted to share everything with him, explore together, experience together.  
But Combeferre could never know the truth, and at this stage Enjolras would rather keep living a lie to increase their time together, preserve their friendship as long as he could. But he knew that all too soon the day would come when 'Ferre would discover the truth, when Enjolras couldn't hold it in any more, and Combeferre would reject him forever. With each passing day, as it grew harder and harder to hide, he steeled himself for the final inevitable showdown that he knew would end it all.

"Enjolras ! Earth to Enjolras!"

"Wh, huh?"

"I've been talking to you for five fucking minutes man,"

"Sorry, I was miles away..."

"I noticed." Now it was Combeferre's turn to stand hands on hips, waiting for an explanation, "Did you hear a word I even said?"

"No, sorry.... 'Ferre...I..."

"What?"

"Never mind,"

"No, what?" he took a step closer, "Tell me,"

"It's okay," Enjolras shook his head and went to continue past Combeferre, but he grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him back round.

"Seriously dude, if you've got something to say, fucking tell me,"

Enjolras took a deep breath, closing his eyes as his brain focused in on Combeferre's hands clutching his arms tightly, "I'm..."

"Hi there guys!" 

As Enjolras opened his mouth, his eyes flew open in surprise, the moment was lost as they were confronted by yet another buddy christ counsellor. He was so zoned in on himself and Combeferre standing there he hadn't even heard him approach, but relief flooded through him like wildfire and he nodded furiously at the question now posed as he fought for composure,

"You guys for C?"

"Yeah," Combeferre answered, shooting Enjolras a look that said he hadn't forgotten and they'd be continuing this little chat at the next available opportunity.

Enjolras was making exceptionally good eye contact with christ and doing an even better job at avoiding Combeferre's eyes as he walked past him, following this new guy up the road.


	2. Salvation From Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp gets properly underway and things go from bad to worse between Combeferre and Enjolras, until a truce of sorts, before it all falls apart.
> 
> Meanwhile Enjolras and Grantaire bond over the washing up.

It wasn't long before they were unpacked, tent up, settled in, with not a single word spoken as they changed into their swimming gear and headed back outside an hour later. 

Enjolras wondered whether it might have been better for Grantaire to put them in separate groups after all, if this sullen silence to make any moody teenager proud was going to be the quality of the conversation between them. At the thought of Grantaire, a small smile escaped his lips, and he wondered when he'd get to see him again. He draped his towel over his shoulder as he walked, lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to Combeferre's scrutiny.

As they reached a small clearing, they headed up the fork in the road away from where they'd registered, the crowds of kids dispersed now into their respective designated areas. As Enjolras glanced over, Grantaire walked out of the door, beach towel flung round his neck, and he couldn't help his eyes lighting up, not unnoticed by Combeferre, and lingering slightly longer than necessary as the solitary figure made his way towards them.

"Hey guys! Enjolras, and er, Combeferre?"

"Hey man," Enjolras grinned widely but Combeferre just nodded, eyes narrowed slightly as he took in his appearance, what the hell was this guys' deal?

But he seemed amiable enough, chatting excitedly about the trip they'd be embarking on in the morning, telling stories of the previous camps he'd done, all in all, nothing Combeferre could really find fault with, much to his chagrin.

They seemed to reach the end of the path, and as they mounted the summit of the slight incline, the lake lay before them. It was a scene of unsurmountable beauty, nestled away as it were, with the mountains spreading out behind them, and they stopped to take it all in.

"Not bad is it?" Grantaire remarked, leading the way down, pointing out to Enjolras where the river began that they'd be heading to the next day, his eyes widening as he queried where the hell they had to swim to now to pass this test.

"Oh only to the other side man," Grantaire said flippantly, Enjolras' incredulous face making him laugh.

"Fuck off! How far really?"

"Enjolras! Language! Remember what I told you!" Combeferre hissed angrily out the side of his mouth.

"Hey, hey, chill your boots man, it's cool, I don't give a fuck. Some of the others might, but hey, lucky you're in my group then huh?" Grantaire countered, shooting Combeferre a look that said 'what the fuck's your problem man?'.

Combeferre huffed, that piece of news not a welcome one to his ears, not at all, but Enjolras seemed delighted, and content to tell him so.

"Awesome!" he was definitely too happy about it for Combeferre's liking and Grantaire chuckled, something Combeferre decided he didn't like at all. They were getting on like a damn house on fire!

As they reached the pier, people started gathering around, and everyone was given instructions. An hour later they'd all passed and got their licence to get out the canoes. There was a bit of practice for the rusty few and the novice's, and everyone else had a little paddle around as they waited for Grantaire to call it a day. Rumbling bellies all round signalled the approach of dinner time, and as they neared the camp again, the smell of the communal campfire reached their nostrils as the smoke gently wafted through the trees. 

The earlier groups were in full throttle, organisational mode set in, counsellors dishing out orders left right and centre. Everyone mucked in here, it was all about community spirit, so hopefully everything would be ready by the time they got back from changing out of their wet gear, and although they had to help clear up later, they weren't rota'd onto dinner duties until day 3. Everything worked on a rotational basis.

But as they sat down to eat, everyone placing their hands clasped together in front of themselves to say thanks for what they were about to receive, Enjolras found himself getting antsy, he couldn't do it. This was the first real sign of anything properly religious, and he couldn't pretend. His eyes darted around looking at all the sincere faces glowing in the light of the flames as they danced through the embers, unaware of the eyes upon him in return, as Grantaire stood there across from him. As uncomfortable as Enjolras felt, Grantaire felt it tenfold, he knew what he was going through.

Hearing Enjolras' frustrated sigh beside him, Combeferre squeezed his eyes shut extra tight, praying extra hard for his soul, thanking the lord for bringing him to him, for letting him guide him, for accompanying him despite everything. He promised himself that night, that he'd never let Enjolras suffer alone, suffer in silence, he'd save him, he'd bring him to salvation, he'd bring him, to him.

....

 

Later, Enjolras heard the words of the evening's 'worship experience' filtering through the window at him as he washed the last few remaining dishes with a few others in his group. He'd been paired with a guy who was nodding along to every word, every sentence uttered, looking as though every syllable had only just occurred to him and awoken him from some deep slumber. Enjolras avoided his dumbstruck face everytime he turned to him with an exclamation of 'Amen!' or 'Save us Jesus!' genuinely shocked at the minescule amount of independant thought required to 'believe'. He yawned widely, genuinely exhausted, but also insanely bored at the dreary voice droning on, supposedly providing enlightenment as it talked of salvation from sin. 'Repent and ye shall be saved!'

"Bullshit," he murmered to himself as his companion made his way outside, joining the others round the campfire. Combeferre was already there, his clear away duty falling ahead of Enjolras' washing up. Normally he would be hurrying to finish any menial task to get to 'Ferre quicker, but tonight he found himself dragging out the dishes one by one, anything to avoid that torture. 

"Fucking balls man," he shook his head, chuckling to himself at something he found particularly absurd, then his heart jumped to his throat as a voice piped up next to him.

"You're really not into this whole thing, are you dude?"

Enjolras sputtered at Grantaire's unexpected remark, unsure which road to perdition would get him out of his blunder.

"Relax. Why the fuck do you think I'm in the kitchen man? This is where you'll be seeing me most every night during 'worship experience time', when we've got an actual kitchen to hide in that is. So chill, your secret's safe with me man."

"But..." Enjolras was sceptical, that was the last thing he expected to hear, "But you're a counsellor!"

"Dude, I'm a waterskiing instructor. I also teach canoeing, and white water rafting. Hell I've even done surfing and snow boarding for these camps. It's a job man, it pays the bills."

"Oh," Enjolras was surprised, "Nice one. But how, don't you have to be..."

"What's a little white lie between me and Jesus about whether I was christened or not? Huh? I won't tell him if you don't."

A light seemed to switch itself on in Enjolras' mind, and his smirk grew wider as he regarded Grantaire with interest. "I knew there was a reason I liked you," 

.............

The next morning dawned bright and early, everyone stood in the still clear light, shivering slightly in the breeze, the golden rays radiating red across the lake as the sun made its first appearance, welcoming in the new day.

Enjolras turned to Combeferre with a wry smile as the excitement built in him, this was the part of the whole ordeal he'd actually been looking forward to. Combeferre had still not really spoken to him since they were interrupted yesterday, a gruff word here and there, a stiff nod, a glare or two. Enjolras shook it off, trying to not let it get to him, but he was pleased as punch when 'Ferre actually returned his smile with one of his own, his eyes alight with the onset of adventure. 

Grantaire had partnered them together, Enjolras owed him one for that, and they received their instructions, checked off their supplies and made their first venture onto the clear blue lake. Cutting through its calm stillness, sending ripples out on top of the hidden murkey depths, they rowed in unison, completely at ease with the world, with each other.

.....

Rendezvous for lunch was in another few hours, and they found themselves pulling further ahead of the group with ease as they made their way through the shallow waters. The sky was a brilliant golden red spreading overhead as they continued, just the calming sound of the splash of the oars and their own breathing breaking the silence.  
Combeferre was glad he'd spent some extra time in the gym before he arrived, his shoulders feeling the pull already. Enjolras seemed to be doing just fine, lost in his own peaceful world and the motion of the row. If he was feeling the strain he certainly wasn't showing it, but he was nothing if not determined, and stubborn. Combeferre watched him, the smooth movement hypnotising him further with each stroke. 

As the water grew choppier, the strong current of the river merging in with the tidal lap of the waves on the lake, they began to enter their destination, their new home.

"The Crow Wing River 'Ferre, home for twenty miles, three whole days, you okay to be stuck with me for that long?"

"Of course I am stupid," Combeferre scoffed, momentarily dazed as he was awakened from his trance.

"Fine then."

"Fine,"

"That's good then,"

"It is,"

"Can we stop this?"

"What?"

"'Ferre please? Why are you so fucked off with me? _Again?_ I can't do anything right for you at the moment, I thought you wanted me to come? But the whole time you've hardly said a fucking word to me."

"You've got other people clamouring for your attention, you said yourself, you have no problems getting accquainted... you can talk to them, been doing enough of it already."

"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? What other people? And it's a problem if I talk to people now? I don't even wanna talk to them, I wanna talk to you, you fucking idiot. I came here for you 'Ferre! I sure as hell can think of a million other places I'd rather be!"

"You didn't have to come you know!"

"I know I fucking didn't! I didn't fucking want to! But I still did!"

"You don't say," 

Enjolras spluttered, his oars forgotten, now facing Combeferre as he glared at him in confusion, "What the fuck does that mean?"

Combeferre ran a hand over his hair as he sighed, he didn't even know what he was saying himself. "I don't know, I dunno what it means,"

"You didn't want me to come did you?"

"Don't be a dick,"

"Don't be a dick? Yeah, nice one, real mature. You're the one being a fucking dick! After all that fucking begging! I finally relent, under sufferance might I add, because I'm willing to give up my summer holiday to hang out with you, yet now I'm here I'm cramping your style, is that it? Well guess what 'Ferre now you're stuck with me! How'd you like them apples huh?!"

"Enjolras, stop it,"

"Stop it?! Stop what? Asking you to tell me the truth? You know what, fuck you,"

"I'm sorry. I do want you here, honest."

"Might wanna try acting like it then," Enjolras mumbled to himself as he rowed furiously away, the fury rising in him at 'Ferre having the audacity to tell him to stop it! Stop what? Being a loyal fucking friend? Being in love with him? Fuck, he knows, he fucking knows, he must do, it's the only explanation...

The wind started to whip Enjolras' face as he rowed harder, refusing to heed Combeferre's call, refusing to let it hit him, that the end had started. He looked up at the sky, taking in lungfuls of air, morning now fully broken, the red tinge of dawn still leaking out over the horizon.  
 _Red sky at night, shepherd's delight, red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning,_ he said to himself, the words rolling around and around in his head, fully aware the storm in the sky wasn't the only one of impending doom.

Combeferre hung his head, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened, that he'd pushed Enjolras away, pushed his friend away with his own stupidity, because he couldn't own up to the fact that he'd practically been caught out staring at him. Lost he was, lost in the movement of Enjolras' shoulders as he pulled with every stroke. Now he sat watching him again, the same movement drawing him in, but this time, with Enjolras rowing away. Away from him. Because of him. 

As the first drops of rain fell, splashing sporadically into the water around him with a plop, Combeferre's first thought was of Enjolras. He was so far ahead now Combeferre could hardly even see him, and he used every morsel of strength to catch up to him. Within seconds he was soaked to the bone, the rhythmic pounding of the driving rain working like a mantra in his mind to spur him on. Was it supposed to rain up here at this time of year? He didn't know, but he was sure it was uncharacteristically heavy, the swirling grey clouds above him a sign of things to come, indicating at the very least a stormy squall heading his way. 

An hour later, still forcing his way through the downpour, the waters noticably swollen around him, the wind suddenly picked up and the crash of thunder made him jump out of his skin. A mad crack of lightning in the distance made him suddenly wonder if this canoeing business was such a good idea after all. Using every last ounce of strength he had, he attempted to steer himself clear of the bank which the wind was forcing him into, he was sure the rendezvous point was only minutes away, he'd seen the sign, just round this bend, he was sure. But as he struggled to push himself free, a resounding crack echoed behind him, lighting up the now dismal grey surrounds as an eerie creak resonated around, as the giant skeleton of an ancient oak towering above him was struck from its foundations. Smoke billowed from the roots as Combeferre watched in horror and it started its descent towards him, filling the air with a whoosh and falling debris, before crashing, terrifyingly, devastatingly, into the river before his very eyes, completely blocking his path.

Next thing he knew, he was under water, flailing helplessly as he desperately tried to right himself, a falling branch capsizing his canoe and thrusting him under the waves of the fallen trunk.  
Suddenly, he could've sworn he heard someone shouting his name, over and over again, and just as all hope was drifting away in his suddenly crystal clear mind, a strong hand reached down and pulled him upright by the scruff of his neck. As he gasped for air, the torrential rain beat down on his face, stinging his eyes enough that you couldn't see where the rain stopped and the tears began, and he stared into the screaming face of Grantaire. 

"Combeferre!" he bellowed again, finally getting through, "Where's Enjolras? Where is he?" he shouted,

"I don't know!" Combeferre screamed through the roar of the storm, his heart racing then stopping as Grantaires's words penetrated his brain.

"Where did he go? Which way did he go?" Grantaire was was shaking him now, desperately trying to find out as he screamed to be heard over the wind.

"He was ahead of me, we had a fight and he went off, I don't know where he is, I don't know, oh my god, Enjolras!" he cried, "He was heading to the rest stop, Grantaire, please, where is he? Enjolras!"

Grantaire nodded, clasping his shoulders firmly, "I'll find him, I will, I promise," he assured him, not liking the wild look in Combeferre's eye, "Listen to me, did he get out of the water? Do you know?"

Combeferre shook his head, filled with horror, "I don't know! I don't know! Oh god! Where is he? ENJOLRAS!" he screamed again, choking back sobs as Grantaire looked around.

"Look, I'll row up further, in case he's stuck somewhere like you were. Now don't do anything stupid ok? You go that way, around the tree, the camp is literally a few hundred yards away, we're really close, okay? Can you climb up there?"

"Huh?" Combeferre looked at his trapped canoe then at Grantaire like he was stupid, but Grantaire just shook his head.

"No time for that now, it won't go anywhere, I'll come back for it later, we gotta find Enjolras," When Combeferre still stared at him he roared his orders again, "GO! On foot you idiot! Get the fuck up there now! Wait by the camp! Do you hear me? Do not get back in the water, and do not fucking come back for your boat! You hear me?"

Combeferre nodded frantically, stunned into action. He was preparing to climb onto the bank, looking for a solid foothold when he heard it, it was his name, reverberating around his brain, getting lost in the wind, but he heard it, he was sure. He'd stopped mid climb, and Grantaire was looking at him like he was a complete fool,

"What the fuck are you doing man? Get up there! Do you wanna find him or not?!"

"Sshhhhh!" Combeferre barked, holding his hand up to shush him as he listened. There it was again...

He could just make it out, his name whispering through the breeze, but where was it coming from? Suddenly Combeferre was all business, his own predicament forgotten in his haste to find his friend. 

"That way!" Grantaire shouted, suddenly pointing, "It's getting louder!"

Combeferre scrambled up the bank, sliding in the undergrowth, nearly ending up back in the river a few times before making it to the top, frantically looking through the trees as he stood up. 

They listened, silent against the drumming rain, the howling wind and the crash of the thunder, straining to hear Enjolras' voice again. 

Suddenly a figure came sprinting around the side of the fallen oak skeleton, enormous roots of the tree clawing at his face as he ran through them, mud and twigs flying everywhere, eyes only for Combeferre as he beelined straight for him falling into his arms. 

Combeferre raced towards him, falling to his knees as they collapsed together, his heart hammering in his chest like never before, not even attempting to hide his sobs now as he clutched desperately at Enjolras, holding him close, hating himself for the way things could've ended, promising to never fall out with him ever again. 

"Promise?" Enjolras screamed into his ear through the rush of the river as it broke its banks, nearly sweeping them from their feet, frantically keeping each other upright as they scrambled to safety, clinging together, "Fucking promise me Combeferre!"

"I promise! I swear it man, I'll never do that to you ever again,"

"What happened?"

"The tree fell, I was stuck, Grantaire saved me, fuck, where is he?" In his haste to get to his friend he'd completely forgotten his saviour.

"He's there, he's there! Grantaire! GRANTAIRE" Enjolras screamed at him, desperately looking around for a tree branch long enough for him to cling onto, but he refused.

"No! I'm going to look for the others!" he shouted back, "They got out of the water as soon as the storm hit! They're holed up a bit further back along the bank! But they might need help!"

"Are you sure? It's not safe! Get out of the fucking water man! At least go on foot!" Enjolras screamed at him, but he was determined,

"No, it's quicker this way! Get back to the camp! Stay inside! When it's safe the others can join you here! It might be tonight, it might be in the morning, just stay in there okay?!"

"Okay, okay," Enjolras nodded frantically, 

Combeferre's eyes were wide as Grantaire turned his boat around to move along with the frantic pace of the swollen current. "Be careful!" he screamed at him as he was swept away. "Oh my god, Enjolras,"

"He'll be fine, come on, let's go!"

"Not him, you! YOU! I almost lost you!"

"No you didn't, I was fine, I was already almost here, I got out of the water as soon as the first of the storm hit, come on, run!"

"I thought I'd lost you."

"I thought I'd lost you too," Enjolras turned to him as they ran, "I was so scared I'd lost you Combeferre, when I saw that tree go down..." he shuddered, turning away as they ducked through some undergrowth, "I couldn't figure out how to get there," 

They suddenly emerged in the camp, out of nowhere, Combeferre's surprised "Oh," evident on his face,

"Quick, in here, get inside," Enjolras headed straight for the reception cabin, ready for their arrival for lunch, the only solid building in the campsite, and as they slammed the door, the wind and the rain banished, the hammering against the window panes became a distant memory as they stood there, drenched, dripping wet, staring at each other, panting, voices hoarse with shouting. And as they stood, as they stared, as they fell into each other, claiming each others mouth for their own, their panting didn't abate, their breathing only deepened as they gasped for air, furiously clutching at one another as if at any moment they might be wrenched apart again.

Falling to the floor they each stripped the other of the sodden remnants of their clothes, hands working to warm the waterlogged skin as they shuddered with cold, huddled together, shivering under the pile of blankets found ready waiting by the door.

"Enjolras, I..."

"Sshhh, don't say anything," he diverted any further attempts at speech with his mouth pressed firmly to Combeferre's lips once more, drawing the blanket closer around them as Combeferre's hand came up to slowly explore Enjolras' face. 

"What are we doing?"

"I don't know..."

"Don't stop..."

"Sshhh...." 

Enjolras' hand found it's way to Combeferre's thigh as he leant closer into him, the warmth from their bodies spreading through each limb, each finger, awakening their senses as Combeferre slowly, gently caressed his face. He stared into his eyes, their lips meeting hesitantly, their arms encircling each other and their bodies moulded together as they sank breathlessly to the floor...

 

 

. . .


	3. Too Good To Be True.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been ages since he sat and watched a storm like this. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting out there now, it felt like forever. He may as well stay out there for the rest of eternity too, no point in going back in, no point in anything else. He knew where he wasn't wanted. 
> 
> Meanwhile, Grantaire takes one for the team.

Enjolras peppered Combeferre's face with kisses, feeling his body melt into him as his eyes closed, his head thrown back, a soft moan escaping his lips.  
"Is this what you want Enjolras?" he murmured into his neck with a sigh. 

"Combeferre please," Enjolras was virtually begging him, "Don't say anything, you don't have to," he continued to run his hands delicately over the now searing skin under the blankets, his words ghosting over the shell of Combeferre's ear as he whispered, fearing if Combeferre acknowledged anything, if he admitted it out loud that would be the end of it all, the day he dreaded the most. 

The end. 

But Combeferre kept talking, his hands exploring Enjolras' body in a dreamlike state, it was only the first time, but it was as if it was the last. It was as if he was trying to commit it to memory, every last detail, memorising every last piece of him, the feel of his skin beneath his fingers, the scent of his rain drenched hair, the muscles rippling to his touch. 

"But I do, I do have to say something," he whispered into Enjolras' hair as the young man attached himself to his neck, gently nuzzling as he covered every millimetre with his lips, sloppy open mouthed kisses, trying to get in as much of his Combeferre as he could, while he still could, because Enjolras knew he was running out of time, and his heart tightened in his chest as he clung on. His insecurities were clouding his judgement, his paranoia controlling his mind, it was all too good to be true, surely? But he was wrong, for Combeferre was coming to a realisation, enlightenment, to Combeferre it was truly a new beginning. 

"If I don't say it now, I never will..." 

"What? Say it, just fucking say it," Enjolras sighed, a heart wrenching sigh which as much as he tried to hide it conveyed all his insecurities, all his fears, he was resigned to the fact. 

"I.." 

"No!" Enjolras cried suddenly, "Don't, please don't make this real..." 

Combeferre lay there, staring up at him, wracked with confusion and uncertainty, why was Enjolras saying things like that? Didn't he want it to be happening? Didn't he want it to be real? 

"But it is real, this is really happening, don't you... don't you want this?" 

But Enjolras remained silent, kissing slowly and sensuously along Combeferre's jawline, breathing lightly over the moistened path as he worked his way up to his ear. 

"Just feel 'Ferre, don't think, just feel..." he whispered, sending a surge of electricity down Combeferre's spine as he lay intoxicated, every single pore on his body alive with sensation, tingling as goosebumps broke out all over his skin. 

He turned his face to the side, desperately seeking the warm mouth doing wonders to his body, meshing their lips together as he found it, devouring Enjolras as he languidly climbed on top of him. Pulling himself across, Enjolras eased his thigh between Combeferre's legs, pressing in firmly and grinding his hips into his groin. 

He could feel the length of heat of his rapidly thickening, lying against his skin, and longed to see Combeferre's body beneath the comfort of the covers. Easing himself across even further and straddling his hips, Enjolras reached inbetween their bodies, his hand eagerly taking hold of both their, now straining, selves. 

He slowly, torturously so, worked them together, up and down, running his palm tantalisingly over the swollen heads then pressing down hard at the base each time. Combeferre was writhing beneath him, his cock twitching in his hand, already leaking as the head pulsed each time Enjolras' hand reached the top. 

He continued exploring Combeferre's mouth with his tongue for a few minutes as he kissed him deeply, jacking them slightly faster with each upward motion, before raising his hips and edging forward, letting go completely. 

Combeferre's eyes opened impossibly wide as Enjolras kept him occupied with his tongue, while reaching around behind himself to grasp 'Ferre again with one hand, and placing 'Ferre's hand on his own cock with the other. 

He pumped him a few more times before guiding him towards himself, slowly rubbing Combeferre's leaking head over his puckered centre, clenching each time it dipped in slightly, preparing as he went by pressing in a little harder every time he ran over. 

Continuing his assault on Combeferre's now panting mouth, he eased the pulsing, leaking head into his tight heat a little further, relaxing his muscles with every clench whilst rhythmically fisting his rock solid shaft. 

Deciding not to torture Combeferre any further, he finally lowered himself fully, his hand moving to spread himself further as he felt the entry with his fingers. Gasping against his lips as he moaned, Combeferre buried his face in Enjolras' neck in disbelief, rocked to the core as he started to move. 

Holding his breath and gasping for air simultaneously, he was lost in the sensations engulfing his body from below. He lost himself in the little things, the feel of Enjolras' skin against his cheek, his hair tickling his nose as he breathed in the scent of the still damp strands. 

He was lost, falling, fast, incoherent as the feeling of the movement surrounded him, engulfing the very fibre of his being, just as Enjolras' tight, hot body was doing to him below, rising and lowering excruciatingly slowly along the length of his own pulsing heat. 

Thrusting himself forward, his cock acted of its own accord, his back arching violently off the floor in a desperate attempt to chase the sensation as Enjolras rose again, following his movements as for a mere second he threatened to release him into the cold night air each time before plunging himself back down. Harder, faster, into its safe warm haven, the near loss of contact eliciting something akin to a whimper from Combeferre's trembling lips, wanting it back, needing it back. 

His hands were frantic, fingers attempting to meet Enjolras', making their way down to feel where their bodies joined, but Enjolras batted his hand away each time in a desperate attempt to preserve the moment, stop it from becoming too real in Combeferre's mind, stop him from over thinking things and scaring himself off. 

But Combeferre wasn't to be dissuaded, he was living out his very own personal epiphany, running on pure adrenalin, he couldn't have activated a single logical brain cell had he tried, but at the same time new dark recesses of his cranial cavity were awakening as if from a deep slumber, a bright light coming on to illuminate things previously unknown, unheard of, shunned, repressed, quashed, feelings just waiting to be felt, experienced, awakened, aroused. 

But Enjolras didn't know this, he wasn't privy to the inner workings of Combeferre's previously closed and controlled mind, and 'Ferre strived to show him, to make him see. His hands had their own ideas about how to go about it, instinctively, desperately grasping at every inch of Enjolras' skin they could reach, kneading, squeezing, feeling, touching him, wanting to know every bit of him by heart, wanting him to know in return what he'd done for him, awakened in him. He finally understood, how can something so powerful, so immense, so good, be wrong? It can't be. It's not. 

As he sank further into the pheromone cloud, all semblance of normality changed forever, all concern for his previous convictions utterly thrown out the window as his body controlled him, and Enjolras' body owned him.  
He drove his hips up harder and faster to meet Enjolras' downward thrust, arms wrapped now tightly around his neck, holding him into a devastatingly furious kiss as his fingers entwined themselves in his hair. 

Suddenly, the urge to see more, to feel more, took over and Combeferre, hardly even aware of his actions, rolled Enjolras over onto his back. Barely missing a beat as their thrusting continued, the pain was instantaneous as Enjolras cried out.  
Pounding forcefully into him as he knelt between his thighs, Combeferre was oblivious, mesmerised by the sight before him, watching his cock disappearing each time he drove forward. His fingers lingered at the soft skin surrounding it, feeling where their bodies joined together, letting out a sob as it blew his mind. 

Enjolras' heart sank, biting his lip harder to block out the searing pain, his insecurities making him sure Combeferre would come to his senses at any second, his convictions regarding his religious ideals in the forefront of his mind, far stronger than Combeferre's at that moment in time, and he scrunched his eyes tightly shut, anything to avoid seeing the horror on Combeferre's face when he realised what he was doing. 

But it wasn't to be, Combeferre was lost, Enjolras should've heeded his own advice, to just go with it, just feel, 'Ferre was in so deep there could be no turning back, but Enjolras didn't see it. All he saw was the force behind Combeferre's movements, the hitch in his breath, the glazed look in his eye as his pounding grew violent, harder and faster, 'Ferre's hands now gripping his hips in an attempt to bring them even closer together, slamming Enjolras down onto him with such force that he couldn't feel anything anymore. 

The pounding rhythm continued, lulling him into a false sense of security, almost transcending the pain as his mind took him away from it all, until Combeferre's fingers, embedded in the soft flesh and sure to leave angry bruises, gripped even harder for the final time as spasming and convulsing above him, he shuddered to a standstill. 

Gasping, panting, breathless, opening his eyes to see Enjolras' shut tight, expecting to be met by a sea of blue, instead, he faced the journey of a single tear as it squeezed its way out from under the golden lashes splayed perfectly against the pale skin. His heart stopped for a moment as it made its way down what he suddenly realised was a well worn track, slowly down the slope of the flushed cheekbone to disappear from view. 

Staring, horrified, Combeferre pulled back, stifling a gasp at the sight of Enjolras swallowing the lump in his throat as their bodies separated. Scooting backwards, he hit the wall, his mouth hanging open, aghast at what he'd done, it wasn't meant to be like that. 

"'Ferre, I'm sorry," 

"What? Ohmygod no..." It was a strangled cry as he watched Enjolras' hands, already balled into fists, slowly relinquish their hold on the blanket below him as they moved to knuckle his eyes. He stilled at Combeferre's words. 

"'Ferre?" he rose to his elbows, his eyes questioning, hesitant, before reaching forward gingerly as he sat up. 

Wincing, he recoiled, devastated at the sight of Enjolras in pain that he'd caused, pain his actions were responsible for, "What have I done, what the fuck have I done?" 

"No, no, I'm sorry 'Ferre, please..." 

"No, Enjolras, no, you don't understand, that's not what I wanted, not like that, it wasn't supposed to be like that...it's not, right," 

Enjolras withdrew his hand as though scalded, his heart breaking into a thousand tiny pieces, just as he had expected it to, "It's okay, Combeferre I wanted it, so I guess that makes me not right too..." 

"No that's not what I mean," 

"It's okay, I get it, I understand, honestly," 

"No Enjolras. You're not listening... I never meant to hurt you, it shouldn't have happened," 

"I know, I'm so sorry, It shouldn't have happened..." he echoed, broken. "I expected this. I knew, I always knew..." he trailed off, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath as he rose gingerly to his feet, taking Combeferre's words at face value, the impact and his own expectations stopping him from seeing what 'Ferre was trying to say. 

"Knew what?" Combeferre reached forward as Enjolras stepped away, "Don't go..."  
He scrambled to his knees, looking on in despair as he walked away, "Where are you going?" 

But Enjolras didn't hear his cry, it was swallowed up by the storm as he stepped into the night, the wind slamming the door behind him. It screamed through the trees, whistling overhead, icy fingers wrapping him in a cold embrace as he leant back against the hard wood, sinking to the floor, empty, hollow, numb. Broken. 

Combeferre sat there, still, frozen, his words dying in his throat as he stared at the back of the closed door  
Enjolras had disappeared through, taking his whole world with him. A world he'd only just gained, that he'd been holding out on for so long, snatched cruelly from him at the moment it had finally all made sense.  
He collapsed to his knees, his eyes unseeing, uncomprehending what just happened, where it all went wrong, every bone in his body screaming for him to go after Enjolras, to fight for what he'd lost far too soon. 

But he didn't. His upbringing, his fathers voice in his head, wouldn't let him.

He pleaded for Enjolras to walk back through the door, he begged himself to have the strength to follow him through it. 

He couldn't. 

He didn't deserve to make it right, he'd fucked it up before it had even begun, before it even had a chance to become something. He'd already failed in his promise of only hours before, and had now lost Enjolras, possibly forever. 

Gathering the blankets around himself, he fell to the floor, cocooned in his sarcophagus he lay unseeing, unblinking, staring at the ceiling for what could've been hours, could've been minutes. All sense of time eluded him as his life crashed around him, his world in tatters, everything he'd held close to his heart his entire life in question now as his new convictions took hold, stronger than ever, destroying the old ones piece by piece, one by one, stamping them down, crushing them into oblivion where they belong. 

His heart slowly shattered as it mourned the Combeferre of old, then gradually started to grow again, glowing faintly as the first glimmer of hope rose in the far reaches of his mind, rebuilding itself from the ashes, the scattered shards rejoining as a decision was made, moulding the jagged edges back together until the final piece clicked into place in his brain, a new Combeferre was born. 

He rolled onto his side, curling himself into a ball and dragging the covers with him as he took the first breath of the rest of his life. 

 

 

......... 

 

 

It had been ages since he sat and watched a storm like this. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting out there now, it felt like forever. He may as well stay out there for the rest of eternity too, no point in going back in, no point in anything else. He knew where he wasn't wanted. If Combeferre wanted him he would've come after him, wouldn't he? Then he wouldn't be sitting out here in the rain, _naked_ , wet, alone. 

Everything was fucked. 

He watched the spray from the pelting rain gather into droplets on his skin as the lightening flashed. The sky was bright, the clouds illuminated by the wrath of God as thunder peeled around him. Bringing his knees up to his chest he wrapped his arms around himself, some small comfort after the enormity of what he'd just lost, and resting his head on his arms he closed his eyes, despair washing over him, too numb to cry, too tired to care. He had no idea how long he stayed out there. 

"Enjolras?" A quiet voice penetrated his senses as the storm howled overhead, the rain pounding down onto the wooden slatted roof above his head making him wonder if he'd imagined it. 'Ferre? No... His head snapped up, staring wild eyed as he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
Grantaire.  
The instant his eyes saw the concern etched on the other man's face, Enjolras' world fell apart and he crumbled against his shoulder as the strong arms encircled him. 

"What's happened? What's wrong?" 

Enjolras stayed silent for the longest time, unable to form the words he wanted to say, to express the enormity of a situation without giving anything away. He shivered against Grantaire's soaking t-shirt, Jesus staring up at him through eyes far too happy for Enjolras' liking, taunting him, mocking him, you're wrong I'm right, ha ha! 

"No!" he shouted suddenly, almost beside himself. 

"What? What is it?" 

"Fucking jesus!" 

"What about him?" 

"He's looking at me! It's all his fault!" 

Grantaire pulled him in closer, wondering what the hell had prompted all this. The last he'd seen was when he'd arrived back an hour ago and opened the door to behold the most intimate sight he'd ever witnessed without being a part of, and quickly beat a retreat as fast as his legs would carry him in mortification. 

"What happened?" 

"He means more to Combeferre than I do..." Enjolras sounded so sad, so forlorn that Grantaire wished he hadn't asked. 

"Who? Jesus?" 

"Yeah," 

"Fuck jesus! C'mon, let's get you inside.." 

"No!" 

"Why not? Enjolras, it's freezing.." he already knew the answer. 

"'Ferre's in there!" 

His voice was so quiet, so broken, that Grantaire barely heard a word, but he didn't need to. He didn't want to probe into their private business, the last thing he wanted to do was prompt any more heart break. 

"I know." 

"I love him," 

Enjolras' eyes stared up at him, so wide, so innocent, he couldn't believe his own revelation. 

"Yeah, I know," 

"You know? What the fuck?" 

"Yeah, I just kinda, could tell," 

"How?! Do I look... gay?!" 

Grantaire couldn't help but laugh, "No, you don't, I guess maybe I could just see it. I dunno..." 

"You were watching me," 

"You noticed..." 

"Yeah... I was watching you too... takes one to know one huh?" 

"Yeah, I guess it does... Er, so, uh, what are we going to do about Combeferre? We can't stay out here forever..." 

"Nothing. It doesn't matter anyway, he only has eyes for jesus," he sighed miserably, then chuckled despite himself at the look on Grantaire's face. "What? Heh. Anyway, it's probably for the best, I was never gonna win that battle was I?" 

Despite the wry smile he looked so dejected that Grantaire pulled him towards him again, holding him close, "So, did you tell him how you feel? Is that why you're sitting out here freezing your butt off?" 

"No... he...we..." he faltered, looking up, his eyes pleading, "You know... I can't say it..." 

"It's okay, I, uh... I came back, I saw you. I mean I, I didn't see, you know, anything, I left... straight away..." 

Enjolras nodded, glad not to have to verbalise it, "It's okay, it's just that, then... we.. I dunno, I dunno what even happened..." 

"Did he hurt you Enjolras?" 

"No! Well, yeah, but it wasn't like that, he didn't mean to, I wanted it. I wanted him to... it was after..." 

"... he freaked out," 

"Yeah. Or maybe it was me, I'm not even sure anymore... everything's so fucked up." 

"Are you okay?" 

Enjolras nodded, swallowing hard, determined not to crack under the pressure of a kind word, until a terrible thought struck him, and he paled visibly, "Oh god, you're not gonna tell on us are you?" 

"Dude, you're not serious?" 

"You can't Grantaire, oh god, I saw what it said in the rules, I'm gonna get sent home arent I? Oh god, fuck! 'Ferre will kill me, this will ruin his life, his dad will never speak to him again, he'll kill both of us! And you! Just for fucking fun he'll kill you too, shoot the messenger and all that... Grantaire, we can't get sent home, please, I don't care what happens to me but I can't do that to Combeferre, please," 

Grantaire stared in shock as Enjolras continued to ramble, "Seriously? Enjolras, I'd..." 

"I'll make it worth your while Grantaire, I will," He started running his hands all over Grantaire's soaking wet chest, kissing his face, "Please don't tell anyone," he whispered throatily into his ear, "I promise I'll make you feel real good..." 

He brought their mouths together, his hands now desperately holding Grantaire to him, stroking his cheek, "Enjolras! Stop! What the fuck are you doing?!" 

"You've got to understand," Enjolras whispered against his lips as he continued to kiss him furiously, "This will destroy him, if anyone knew..." 

"I do understand, I do, I won't say a word, I promise, just stop, stop okay?" 

Enjolras stopped. "Okay," he faltered, with a look of such broken despair that Grantaire pulled him close again, just as he finally broke down, admitting defeat. "You don't want me either, do you? 'Ferre doesn't want me, you don't want me, I'm not enough, am I? I'm not good enough." 

His heart broke completely as he took deep heaving breaths into Grantaire's chest, refusing to cry, refusing to let go completely. 

"Shhh, don't be silly, please don't say that, it's not that at all... it's just... oh man," he sighed to himself, contemplating his next words, "Of course I fucking want you," 

Enjolras lifted his head, his eyes accusing, questioning, as Grantaire took a deep breath before continuing, his judgement clouded, compromised, but in too deep to stop now, "I have done since the moment I laid eyes on you, but Enjolras, you're so young, and Combeferre, you love him, how would he feel if he knew what you were saying? What would Combeferre think? Enjolras?" He prompted

Enjolras' expression was sullen, "Why would he even care? He doesn't love me back!" His voice cracked under the strain of saying the words out loud, things that had only been inside his own head for longer than he cared to remember, "He won't even know, unless you tell him," he murmured, his eyes taking on a different hue at the change in his demeanour, his voice lowering dramatically, dripping with not so hidden meaning, "Please... I need this..." 

He continued his assault on Grantaire's neck, his face, his chiselled features contorting at his quandry, "Enjolras! Think for a moment! Think about how you'll feel in the morning if you do this," 

"Feel? Feel? Don't talk to me about feelings! I can't feel anything anymore! What's the point? There's no one for me to wait for anymore, and let's face it, heh, there never was. And I always knew it in the back of my mind, you know? So what's the point in holding out? Give me one good reason!" 

"I'm sorry, Enjolras I can't..." 

"You said you want me, right?" he murmured seductively, climbing onto Grantaire's lap, 

"Enjolras..." 

"Don't you?" 

"Yes, I told you..." 

"Well then take me," 

"No." 

"Please, Grantaire, I need it, I need to feel... something, anything... I want you to... please?" The last word was a whisper, the desperation evident even to his own ears, but he was desperate, anything to stop this numb feeling consuming his soul more as every second passed. 

"Enjolras, I said no. I can't. Please don't do this," 

"Make me stop then. C'mon. If you don't want it, make me stop. Fucking make me!" he challenged, pulling back, staring defiantly into Grantaire's bright green eyes. 

"I don't wanna _make_ you..." 

The instant the words left his lips he saw the change in Enjolras' eyes, his pupils dilating dramatically as he pounced, attaching himself to Grantaire's lips once more. 

But this time, Grantaire kissed him back. 

He didn't fight off insistent arms as they encircled him once more, he moaned as Enjolras pushed his thigh firmly into his groin and rubbed his half hard cock into his hip, within seconds bringing himself to attention again as he took hold of Grantaire. He gasped as Enjolras worked him into a frenzy with one hand and grabbed fistfuls of his wayward curls with the other, smashing their mouths together continuously, stifling any sound that might give them away. 

Enjolras made his way down the hard, wiry body beneath him, one hand clamping down over Grantaire's mouth as the other took his cock down the back of his throat. Working in tandem with his hand, Enjolras' mouth continued its sensual assault until Grantaire was a writhing mess, back arching off the floor as their eyes met, thrusting down hard inside Enjolras' mouth before he let go, saying nothing out loud but his eyes conveying it all, _'fuck me'_ they begged. 

But he remained silent, leaving the ball in Grantaire's court as he climbed back up to claim his mouth, pulling him down on top of him, desperate to feel something other than the heartache and despair inflicted upon him earlier.  
.  
.  
.

Their desperate coupling was over in minutes.

 

***************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...erm,
> 
> sorry about that...?


	4. Coffee. Coffee and Toast.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sense of calm had settled both outside and in, as if neither storm had ever happened...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all you lovely people who have read this xx When I was asked to write it I wasn't quite sure where I was going to go with it, still not sure, I'm very torn! *sigh* I hope it works out in the end...

The morning dawned clear and bright, the sun streaming in through the cracks in the curtains upon three separate piles of blankets, rising and falling gently with each breath as they slept soundly in the far flung corners of the room. 

The sense of calm had settled both outside and in, as if neither storm had ever happened. 

Grantaire was the first to stir, the sunlight flickering across his face. Eventually rising he moved out onto the porch with a strong coffee to inspect the damage, already fully aware of the damage already done inside. 

Soon, it was time to leave, he scrawled a note to inform them of his whereabouts and set off across the debris strewn yard, heading to help the rest of the group pack up their makeshift camp back down the river. 

... 

Combeferre had woken early, the sound of birdsong and the smell of pine and fresh air confusing him for a moment, where the hell was he? 

And why did he feel so shit? 

There was a strange feeling permeating his senses, tugging at the corners of his memory to plunge him back to the misery of the night before. 

Still groggy, he caught the movement from the corner of his eye as Grantaire had first stirred, and it all came flooding back.

Enjolras. 

He had to fight his initial urge to sit bolt upright to see if he'd come back last night, but Grantaire answered the question for him as he got up. Combeferre watched his boxer clad ass wander over to the Enjolras shaped bundle in the far corner, about as far away from Combeferre as he could possibly get, and stood over him for a second or two before heading towards the kitchen. 

As he disappeared Combeferre strained to see Enjolras as best he could from the other side of the room, was he awake? No, he would've responded to Grantaire standing there surely, but before he had the chance to find out he was back feigning sleep as Grantaire walked in again, mug in hand, munching on some toast. 

Combeferre's eyes would've widened had they not been pretending to sleep as Grantaire headed towards him, and he sensed him kneeling down, observing him for a second before asking if he was okay. 

"Dude, if you're awake, we need to talk, I'll be outside for the next ten minutes if you wanna join me for a sec man," 

Combeferre stiffened, concentrating on breathing, his stomach rumbling as the aroma of hot toast almost tempted him to follow as Grantaire got up and headed outside. 

What the fuck did he mean by that anyway? Talk about what exactly? How much did he know? He lay there contemplating every possible outcome of what he might want, but he didn't move a muscle. 

... 

Combeferre peered at Grantaire from the window until he was out of sight, watching covertly as he headed for the path to the river. Letting the curtain fall back into place as he disappeared from view, he turned to survey the room, debating his next course of action. Enjolras still hadn't stirred, and as exhausted as Combeferre was, he knew there was no way he'd be able to get back to sleep, there was far too much weighing on his mind. 

His eyes fell on the note Grantaire had left on the table, and having entirely forgotten its existence, he practically pounced on it, booting his toe on the chair in his haste. His body went rigid with the effort of not screaming out, and he looked over to check if he'd inadvertently roused Enjolras, but still nothing. And scanning it quickly, he was almost even more disappointed to find nothing much of interest in the note either. 

With a sigh and another glance in Enjolras' general direction, he decided on the best course of action, Grantaire certainly had the right idea. Toast. 

The kitchen was enormous and stocked for yesterday's non-event lunch. So in no time at all, Combeferre found himself out on the porch just as Grantaire had done, with a veritable feast, enjoying the morning. He leant back against the smooth wood of the door, closing his eyes, sipping his coffee, feeling slightly better about things now he had a full belly and a good helping of determination. 

Enjolras had watched him go through the crack of an eyelid, much as Combeferre had been doing to Grantaire before, and with a gigantic sigh he rolled over, curled himself into a ball and went back to sleep. 

... 

A couple of hours later, sunlight falling across his face with morning now fully broken, Enjolras languidly stretched himself out on the floor, forgetting for a moment where he was. He subconsciously moved into the warm rays, seeking the heat as if it was another warm body to snuggle into, eyelids beginning to flutter as the incessant warbling of the birds outside the window brought him suddenly and shockingly back to reality, cruelly infiltrating his dreams in which he'd just been having a very nice time with a very nice guy on holiday, in the woods and there was a cabin and a lake, and a... storm... 

He sat bolt upright, suddenly knowing exactly where he was, and looked around cautiously for the other occupants of the room, before the earlier events of the morning returned to him. He shook his head, and stretching himself out again on the blankets in the sun he thought about the night before, staring at the ceiling as he wondered what the fuck to do. 

Once the rumbling of his belly roused him suitably he found himself in a familiar position out on the porch, just as Combeferre and Grantaire had done before him. The sun-warmed wood warming his bones from the inside raised his spirits somewhat, much as the drenching rain had dampened them the night before. Well, until Grantaire came along. 

Grantaire. 

Enjolras thought about him a lot. He liked him. 

A lot. 

He was hot. And his eyes! Oh his eyes... And he was really nice. He could do amazing things with his hands... 

And he liked Enjolras in return. 

But he wasn't Combeferre.

Not that Enjolras was sure that mattered anymore. 

Combeferre. Who he thought he knew. He'd lost him forever. Stupid, stubborn, idiot Combeferre. 

Where was he anyway? 

He closed his eyes, letting the sun wash over him, his mind re-living the events that transpired in the very same spot the night before. He cringed inwardly, but then the more he thought about it, he realised he felt different. He felt stronger, relieved even, he felt a sense of freedom he hadn't felt in ages. He didn't have to hide anything anymore, he'd been set free. 

And despite everything, despite the outcome being the exact opposite to what he had thought were his hearts deepest desires, at least he now knew where he stood, right? It was the pain of not knowing before, that's what held him back, and now he was free, the shackles binding him to his silence had been removed and the outcome, although granted it was killing him, was what he'd expected all along anyway. 

So yeah, he was free. And above all, he had actually got something out of it that he never thought he'd see, for those few short minutes, before he'd come to his senses, Combeferre had been his, and he couldn't have been happier. 

He smiled to himself, he was free, this was the beginning of the rest of his life. 

He wondered what Combeferre was doing, unaware he was only a few hundred metres away, having rescued his canoe and taken to paddling up and down the now calm and crystal clear waters. 

Enjolras had no inclination to do anything remotely strenuous yet, he was content to sit and wait, as per Grantaire's scrawled instructions, steadily making his way through a breakfast of epic proportions. He was exhausted, yesterday's monumental emotional upheaval taking a huge toll on him, he'd never felt so drained. Like a part of his life had been drained from him. 

So he sat, sipping his coffee, content with only the sun and the dawn chorus for company, enjoying the morning. 

......... 

 

As Grantaire paddled slowly down the river, the group trailing in various stages behind him, he couldn't help but wonder what sight he'd be met with upon his return to the cabin. 

In a way he hoped to find Enjolras curled up in Combeferre's arms, all their problems forgotten but in his heart he knew they wouldn't have resolved a damn thing. He'd already seen how stubborn Combeferre could be, and it didn't bode well for any kind of reconciliation. 

Deep down however, he was cursing himself, his own actions unforgivable, and he hoped he hadn't driven a wedge into the situation, taking it past the point of no return. If only he'd held back, if only he'd been stronger... 

He swore under his breath, stuck between his conscience and what his body wanted. But no matter how much he tried to blame himself, he knew the bulk of the damage had been done before he even got there. 

That's why he needed to talk to Combeferre, get the other side of the story, he could only hope he didn't end up making things worse. But he had to try, he had to fix this. 

His mind kept flashing back to the conversation, amongst other things, he'd had with Enjolras the night before. 

Out there on the porch in the storm, it would've been beautiful, hell, romantic even, if it hadn't been completely on the rebound, and Grantaire was fully aware that that's all it was to Enjolras. 

He ruefully wondered, that if in another time, another place, things might've been different, and as much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, maybe he even wished that they could be. But it didn't matter anyway, what mattered was the here and now, and he knew he had to do something about it, to fix it. 

It was Combeferre he was the most concerned about right now. He wished he had a chance to talk to him this morning before he left. Enjolras on the other hand, he was strong. Although he'd naturally be upset for awhile, it was all stuff that had been in his head for ages, so in a way, he was desensitised. 

But Combeferre. 

Grantaire just wished he had some inkling of where his head was at. He knew that as much of a non-believer that Enjolras was, Combeferre was the opposite, and if truth be told, Grantaire was scared to death of how Combeferre would react to what he'd done, his own actions possibly horrifying him and upsetting his deeply instilled lifelong beliefs. 

Grantaire shuddered at the memory of only last year, the young guy who'd tried to kill himself and the kid he'd messed around with, and that hadn't even been a religious camp. It took a strong mind to deal with your own admissions about such delicate issues at such an impressionable age, let alone acting upon them the very first time you even realise. 

He knew how much of a mindfuck it could be, and he paddled on, his arms moving in strong, fluid strokes as he picked up the pace, deep in thought, his jaw set, determination strengthening his resolve to do the right thing. 

Quite what that was, he wasn't exactly sure, but relief flooded through him at the sight of Combeferre paddling quietly up ahead as he rounded the bend. On his own, yes, but it was a start. 

..... 

 

Combeferre looked up at the movement in the distance, seeing Grantaire wave out of the corner of his eye. He hesitated, unsure how he should react. He couldn't deny he was annoyed, his tranquillity broken, although naturally he'd been expecting Grantaire to return at any moment for the entire past hour. 

But now the sight of him made Combeferre's stomach flip, knowing that he knew, knew something anyway, and although Combeferre wasn't exactly sure how much, but just the fact that someone else knew... 

In a way he was desperate to know what Grantaire thought, but he also had no idea how to talk to the man, how to act around him. He was torn between being relieved to see him and regretting his return, one because he was expecting to be instantly kicked straight out, and also, because he hadn't yet mustered up the courage to confront Enjolras, and now his chance was gone. 

Surrounded by the rest of the camp now everything would have to be as normal as possible, and Combeferre wasn't sure if he could keep it together. He contemplated turning his back as Grantaire approached, but his good manners managed to override his embarrassment and he instead turned to face him, his face flushing as his eyes darted about, unsure where to look. 

"You managed to get it out of that tree then?" 

Combeferre was somewhat taken aback, "Huh?" He'd actually expected Grantaire to be totally confrontational from the outset, and have a go at him for not going outside to talk to him when he'd asked him to earlier. 

His face must've betrayed his shock because Grantaire continued quickly, "It was well and truly stuck dude, nice one," 

Combeferre recognised it for what it was, a friendly attempt to put him at ease, and he started to relax a bit. though still expecting the worst. "Er, thanks," 

"No problem," Grantaire regarded him for a minute, but seeing him obviously flustered, turned to survey the bank. 

"I dunno where he is," Combeferre offered with a sigh, eyes firmly downcast, assuming he was looking for Enjolras. 

Grantaire turned to him in confusion, watching as Combeferre methodically slapped his paddles gently on top of the water, dejected, tapping out a steady pattern, seemingly mesmerised by the succession of tiny splashes. He cut such a forlorn figure, his face betraying his conflicted emotions that Grantaire's heart went out to him. He could see Combeferre was trying desperately to act nonchalant, trying to keep up the facade, an unfazed exterior, but the constant nervous twitch of his rhythmic splashing gave him away. 

"You okay?" Grantaire ventured, tentatively, wanting to put him out of his misery. 

"Of course, never better," Combeferre shot back, his eyes briefly darted up to meet Grantaire's sceptical gaze, "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Grantaire shrugged, non-committal, trying to avoid confrontation. "I was only asking." 

"No you weren't," Combeferre's tone was accusing, "You were, insinuating things," 

"Insinuating things? What things?" 

"That I'm not okay!" 

"No I wasn't! Fuck, dude, talk about paranoid! Are you this uptight all the time? How the hell does Enjolras put up with you?" 

"What?!" Combeferre was reeling, what the fuck did he mean by that? But before he could deconstruct it in his mind, Grantaire spoke again. 

"You know it's alright, don't you?" 

"What?" Now he was even more confused. 

"If you're not okay, it is allowed you know." 

"What the fuck are you talking about man?" 

"Look, all I'm saying is, is that it's okay. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to have feelings, be scared." 

"Scared? I'm not fucking scared! Of what exactly?!" 

Grantaire sighed, he really didn't know what he was saying, he was just trying to be nice, but Combeferre obviously didn't want to know. "I dunno man, of losing him maybe? Dude, I'm not saying you are scared, I'm just saying, man, I dunno, that sometimes things happen that we don't expect, that we're not sure how to deal with, and that sometimes it can be confusing, and maybe that can be scary. And that's okay. It's okay to be confused." 

Combeferre narrowed his eyes, his stomach doing flips, "What exactly are you trying to get at Grantaire?" He had no idea why he was acting so confrontational, it was almost like he was resigned to the fact that he was due his comeuppance and figured he may as well do something to deserve it. 

"Look, you're not getting thrown out of camp, if that's what you think, okay?" He saw Combeferre's eyes widen as he continued, "And if you do ever find that you maybe need to talk about anything, that's what I'm here for, okay?" 

"I don't need your fucking pity Grantaire! Or your fucking help! Got it? And if you're not going to kick us out, I'd appreciate it if you'd fuck off and leave me alone, and mind your own fucking business," 

Grantaire just stared at him, incredulous, "Okay, I fucking will, and you know what, fuck you Combeferre! But just think about this, if you want him, you might wanna make him aware of the fact before you lose him. The last fucking thing I need is you two moping around the whole fucking week..." 

He turned his canoe around as fast as it would let him, still muttering angrily to himself, leaving Combeferre staring after him as he paddled over to where the rest of the group would soon be pulling up to the riverbank, and hauled his canoe out of the water. 

Unbeknown to both of them, a pair of sad blue eyes watched the exchange from the top of the path. He stared, eyes unseeing as Grantaire came ashore, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to sort through the million things they could've been saying that flooded his brain. 

Not until Grantaire had started up the path did Enjolras realise he was heading towards him. Caught between a desire to hide and the desperation of needing to know what Combeferre said, he hesitated a moment before turning hurriedly as Grantaire looked up and their eyes locked. 

"Enjolras, wait!" he called softly, breaking into a jog to catch him up. 

Enjolras fought down the urge to run as he heard the footsteps quickening behind him, tensing initially as he felt Grantaire's hand come to rest on his shoulder. He slowly relaxed, turning towards him as Grantaire squeezed gently, rubbing circles lightly with his thumb.  
Gulping audibly, he couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes, his chest constricting and his pulse quickening at the touch. Taking a deep breath, he didn't know if it was anger or lust consuming him, and he finally looked up. 

"Hey," Grantaire's voice was soft, the look of concern in his eyes enough to convince Enjolras that it certainly wasn't anger he felt towards this guy. 

"Hey," 

"You okay?" 

"Not really." 

"Yeah." 

"What did you say to him?" 

"I just asked if he was okay, if he needed to talk..." 

"What you gonna fuck him too now?" 

Grantaire's face fell at Enjolras' angry words, coming seemingly from nowhere, "Don't be a fucking jerk man," 

Enjolras saw the hurt in his eyes and knew he'd gone too far, he didn't even mean it. "I dunno why I said that," 

"I know you're angry dude, I know it's a fucked up time for you. The last fucking thing I wanna do is make it worse." 

"I know. You're the only thing making it better right now. You made it alot better last night," 

Grantaire's breath hitched, his heart hammering in his chest as their eyes locked. Enjolras peered up at him shyly through his lashes, his anger of a moment ago gone, and it was just a confused kid standing in front of him again. A confused kid who was hot as hell... 

Grantaire shook his head, as though to empty it of thoughts and memories threatening to fill it, to cloud his judgement, because kid was the operative word here. And although Enjolras was only a couple of years younger than him and they shared a definite connection, Grantaire's role in this first and foremost was that of a counsellor, and he had to remember that. 

He could get in some serious trouble if any of this got out. His hand dropped from Enjolras' shoulder as though burned, a shadow crossing the bright blue eyes that followed the movement in disappointment. Grantaire stopped, turning Enjolras towards him, trailing one finger gently down in a line from his brow to jaw, running it slowly over his lips, catching himself staring again as he saw Enjolras' eyelids fluttering shut. 

"Look, you know I like you, and if things don't work out with Combeferre, then I'd love it if you gave me a call when we get out of this place," he paused as Enjolras smiled up at him, a warm genuine smile that melted his heart as he prepared to break it himself with his next words, "But you've invested far too much time and effort into what you have with the guy to just give up and throw all that away." He bit his lip, watching the look of scorn begin to form across Enjolras' features. 

"I don't have anything with him! He made that perfectly fucking clear." 

"Dude, you gotta try, you don't know for sure how Combeferre feels, do you?" 

"I got a pretty good fucking idea when he said 'that wasn't supposed to happen'." 

"Well, maybe, but at the end of the day, you two have a lifetime of friendship and you don't wanna lose that dude. Just give him some time." 

"He doesn't wanna know man!" 

"Look Enjolras, I saw him when he thought something had happened to you, and I saw him when you appeared from behind that tree, he was fucking beside himself with relief, and no matter what the both of you think right now, what happened was because you both wanted it, regardless of whether it was because both of you went into that cabin driven by emotion, fuelled by lust, whatever, it's besides the point, 'cos both of those things come from the same place," he picked up Enjolras' hand and placed it over his heart, "So you can't just drop it and act like nothing happened and pretend you don't care." 

"I know." Enjolras nodded, his eyes wide at Grantaire's words, "But you don't understand, he kept trying to tell me to stop, he... I wouldn't let him speak... I didn't want him to say it," he lowered his gaze, before finishing in a voice so low Grantaire could hardly make it out, "I wouldn't let him stop me, I made him do it. And so then he... did." 

Grantaire stared at him for a moment, contemplating his next choice of words, "You might've initiated things, but he was able to, you know, _follow it through_ all on his own, you know what I mean? You can't force a cock to get hard unless it wants to, you hear me? He wanted you. And I'm willing to bet he still does, maybe he just hasn't realised it yet is all, that's why he's acting like such a jackass."  
He sighed, hoping he was right, "Or maybe he's acting like that 'cos he's scared, confused, and he thinks he hurt you," he said pointedly, "Thinks he's lost you, when really, he's only just found you. You've gotta remember Enjolras, he's new to all this, whereas you've known for years. You probably blew his fucking mind dude, and that takes some getting used to, especially if you've spent your whole life being told how wrong it is." 

Enjolras nodded slowly, looking at him in wonder. "Yeah maybe. Man, you always make perfect sense, I wish I'd met you years ago." He shook his head as if to clear it, "What a fucking mess. So, what do I do now then?" 

Grantaire shrugged, "I dunno really man. Give him time. He needs to think. And you need to talk." 

Enjolras huffed sarcastically, "Yeah sure, that'll be easy, won't be awkward... much." 

"Well, we've got that banquet tonight, there'll be dancing and shit too, and tomorrow is that stupid play they put on, so I'm sure there'll be a chance, you should be able to manage something," 

"I don't wanna rush it, make him feel like I'm backing him into a corner, you know? No pressure or anything," 

"Well if it doesn't happen, it's best not to force it. Maybe. I dunno. Maybe it is best to force the issue. Just go with it man, see what happens." 

"Okay," Enjolras nodded, hesitating, "And dude, you know, thanks," 

Grantaire just smiled sadly at him, clapping him on the back, squeezing his shoulder again. His hand lingered a moment as he caressed him gently, before he turned and headed back towards the river. 

 

................


	5. Can I Stay In Your Tent Tonight?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Combeferre was beginning to realise that perhaps there was a lot about Enjolras that he didn't know, and had never even thought to ask before, he'd always just taken him for granted, at face value, never thinking to probe below the surface to realise that there was a very complex and interesting person under there.

...................

 

After an almighty feed, the entire camp prepared to make their way to the next stop, many miles ahead, and however many more hours off schedule, the Crow Wing river accommodating them without the turbulence of yesterday, to everyone's relief. But the turbulence in Combeferre's mind was yet to abate, so he made himself busy helping on the bank as the group started taking to the water. Some of the younger girls in particular seemed to need a lot of his help and he hung back, watching Enjolras with Grantaire up ahead, teaching the guys how to do eskimo rolls. 

How the fuck did Enjolras even know how to do that anyway?  
Combeferre was beginning to realise that perhaps there was a lot about Enjolras that he didn't know, and had never even thought to ask before, he'd always just taken him for granted, at face value, never thinking to probe below the surface to realise that there was a very complex and interesting person under there.

In his mind, until yesterday, Enjolras had still just been a kid to him, the same kid he'd always known, the one he'd run around collecting ninja turtles and mighty morphine power rangers with. But now things were different, Enjolras was different, he was all grown up, only Combeferre had just never noticed before, and he found himself wondering, question after question popping up in his mind. 

He missed his company, their easy banter, and the fact that now, especially with his chosen career on the cards, he may never get another chance to ask any of these new questions, wasn't lost on him. 

Grantaire's words from earlier stuck fast in his mind, _'make him aware of the fact, before you lose him for good',_ and he wanted to, he really did, but not here, bible camp really was not the most appropriate place for sexual awakening, but if he waited much longer, it might be too late.

He watched Grantaire with interest, they looked as thick as thieves, and Combeferre couldn't help but wonder...  
...no, don't even go there, he chastised himself, his jealousy rising to the surface all too easily. 

He nodded to himself, even if someone else did come into Enjolras' life, and even if it was Grantaire, however briefly, Combeferre had determined that he only had himself to blame. He'd pushed Enjolras away, unwittingly, by accident somehow. He didn't know what he'd even said, what he'd done, that had caused that look to mar Enjolras' face, caused that tear to fall, he didn't even know how, he just knew that he had. 

The cinema screen in his brain had it set to repeat, he saw it flickering through his vision again and again, like a crackly scene in an old black and white movie, replayed over and over, haunting him, taunting him, the pain on that beautiful face. In his mind it was all his fault and if Enjolras found someone else to fuck the pain away, so be it, Combeferre would just have to deal. Unless he could make it right. He chanced a glance back up at Grantaire... If he wasn't already too late.

He finished loading up and pushed off from the bank, wishing he had the guts to just head on up there and join in all the boisterous larking about as if he didn't have a care in the world. But he didn't think he even knew how, he didn't have the capacity to just carry on as if everything was normal, because he didn't know how he'd be received. 

He already felt like everyone was looking at him, like everyone _knew._ The rational part of his brain was fully aware that no one knew, yet the scorn he felt for himself was reflected back at him in everyone else's eyes, so he immersed himself in charitable deeds, to re-climb the metaphorical rungs he'd slipped.

Do the right thing... 

Do the right thing... 

He looked ahead, seeing Enjolras emerge from the water, glistening, innocent, free, laughing as everyone cheered him on, Grantaire's hand clapping him on the shoulder, the warm friendly smile he received in return. Combeferre wanted that, all of it, to be a part of it. 

Instead he settled in at the back of the group, only fear and the weight of the world on his shoulders for company. 

 

...... 

 

Grantaire watched closely as every time Enjolras splashed through the surface of the water, he pointedly did not look to see if Combeferre was watching him. And as for Combeferre, well Grantaire could see he was also doing his best to casually not stare at Enjolras' antics, whenever he remembered to tear his eyes away that was, or was forced to chuckle politely at the inane chatter of the girls he was suddenly surrounded by. 

By the time they got to the next camp, several hours later and even more miles, Enjolras had a multitude of new friends and a good dozen pairs of female eyes following his every move, which he, in typical fashion, remained blissfully unaware of. All he cared about was Grantaire and his whereabouts, and coming up with a plan, a way to break the ice with Combeferre. 

As they made their way towards the campsite it suddenly dawned on Enjolras that he might be forced into an opportunity sooner than he'd anticipated. Having only a two-man tent between them, and it currently being in Combeferre's possession, Enjolras wasn't exactly sure where he'd end up sleeping that night. Grantaire seemed to have come to the same realisation. He promptly volunteered Enjolras to help him put up his own tent, so he could then join him in their rota'd kitchen duties, trying to be not-so-noticeably absent, and thus hopefully avoid any awkward questions for Combeferre later when he had to put their tent up on his own. 

......... 

An hour later, Enjolras found himself determined to throw himself into his new kitchen tasks with gusto, eternally grateful he had the chance to immerse himself in something. Anything that would stop his mind from dwelling on the events that had just transpired before Grantaire dragged him away, deflated and torn. 

Combeferre had appeared, coming up from the river with his own personal female entourage, and carrying, not just his own gear but a soaking wet girl as well. A girl with her arms flung around his neck. A girl with very short shorts on, and long floaty blonde hair, straggly and plastered down over her head at this moment in time yes, but Enjolras knew it'd be floaty and bouncy and shiny in its normal state. She had pouty lips and a very wet t-shirt, a very wet t-shirt clinging very wetly and tightly to her very perky, and very wet, budding cleavage.

This girl had boobs, and they were in Combeferre's face.  
Very visible, round, heaving bosoms, perfectly showcased by her very visibly wet white t-shirt and bright red bathing suit combination. And they were very visible to Combeferre from his vantage point, and Combeferre had seen them. He was looking at them right now. In fact he hadn't stopped looking at them the whole time Enjolras and his narrowed eyes had watched them approach. 

Enjolras had no idea what happened, but what he did know, what he saw with his own two boggling eyes, was said girl place an overly brazen kiss on his cheek, and Combeferre look extremely smug about it indeed, as he placed her gently back down on the ground.

The last thing Enjolras saw as Grantaire dragged him away, was Combeferre glance over in his direction, his grin broadening somewhat, and the last thing Enjolras heard, was a loud declaration that Combeferre was her hero, and such a true gentleman, and would he mind awfully having the first dance with her tonight at the feast? 

Grantaire grabbed Enjolras' bag as they walked away, and bundled him into the shower block at the back of the kitchen. 

"Okay man," he said, sounding like he meant business, not even acknowledging what they'd just seen, "You go get ready, this is the night to make a big impression, the only time we get to dress up, and the only night with a shower, so make the most of it while the others are still putting their tents up, okay?" 

His hand trailed down from where he'd been gripping his shoulder as Enjolras didn't respond, staring at a fascinating spot on the ground, mute, glum. Entwining their fingers together, he gently squeezed his hand, rubbing a circle on his palm with his thumb.

"Hey, you're gonna knock him dead man,"

Enjolras looked up at that, frowning, "I'm not sure I really wanna knock him dead anymore... Knock him out maybe."

"Well, you and me both," Grantaire sighed, "Go on, make him see what he's missing. I'll be in the kitchen, come find me, we'll keep you occupied somehow so you can make a big entrance later, fashionably late of course. He'll have been wondering where the hell you got to already, so when he finally sees you, he won't know what hit him." 

Enjolras just nodded sadly, squeezing Grantaire's hand gently in return, "I really don't think he will." 

But as he turned to go, Enjolras pulled him back, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him close for a minute, breathing deeply into the crook of his neck as he composed himself.

"Thankyou," he whispered, nuzzling his face softly against Grantaire's skin for the briefest of seconds, before placing a resolute kiss sweetly on his lips, leaving him reeling, as he disappeared into the tiled stalls. 

Staring after him, Grantaire had to use every bit of his resolve to resist the all-encompassing urge to follow him in there, berating himself for his inability to keep the all too willing participant in his trousers at bay. His mind idly wandered as he drifted off, imagining Enjolras in there, alone, naked, the scalding needles drilling into his skin, cascading down his back and running in rivulets down the well defined muscles of his chest, much as the spray from the rain had done the night before.

Grantaire groaned at the memory of his lips against that searing skin, svelte and sinewy, begging to be touched, and the scorching heat of Enjolras' mouth surrounding him. His cock twitched, and he willed it down, no way he could go waltzing into the kitchen waving it around in front of him like a beacon, and his hand dropped lower, slowly down, to ghost across the already prominent bulge beneath the parachute material of his swimming shorts. 

The delicious roughness against the sensitive skin caused another involuntary moan to pass his lips, and his bodyweight to now press firmly against the wall.  
With one hand lying flat against the cold tiles, and the other beginning to lightly run up and down, stroking himself slowly through the material, he was surprised to find another hand slipping under his waistband, and his lips captured once more in heated passion. As his eyes flew open at the touch, Enjolras smiled, closing his hand around the solid shaft and wordlessly leading him into the rapidly steaming stalls in the back. 

 

**************** 

 

Grantaire paused with a faraway look on his face as his eye raked over the fine form in front of him. Enjolras had just walked out of the kitchen for the first time all evening, narrowly, yet accidentally on purpose avoiding the worship experience. He watched him instantly clock Combeferre, sitting way at the back, his bible sitting closed on his knee and his chin propped up in his hand as if deep in thought, or bored. He saw the scowl cross Enjolras' face as he took it all in and dismissed the latter with a snort, pointedly ignoring Combeferre entirely as he looked up instead to meet Grantaire's eye. His face lit up in marked contrast.

As he headed straight over to where he was sorting out a row of trestle tables, Grantaire tried desperately to will his mind back to the task at hand. He passed Enjolras the tablecloths, getting him to deck them all out with place settings, and headed off to get the chairs and sort out the rest of his group.

A few minutes later, as everyone else headed off to their individual prayer sessions, Grantaire allocated dinner duties and came back with Combeferre, staggering under a pile of chairs, before sending him off to help get the bonfire started. 

"Did he see me?!" Enjolras glanced around, watching him go, whispering out the side of his mouth as soon as Combeferre was out of earshot. 

"Of course he fucking did, he could hardly miss you, posing like that," His eyes roamed appreciatively over Enjolras again, his black shirt setting off the deep blue of his eyes against his sunkissed skin, his dark jeans tightening over his firm buttocks as he purposely bent forward again to stretch across the table, smirking at Grantaire's double take. 

"What, like this?" 

"Exactly like that, fucking tease," he growled low in his throat on his way past, lightly brushing against him, "He can't keep his eyes off you." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah." 

"Neither can you," 

"I know, so quit it with that shit," 

"I thought you liked it?" 

"I do, that's the problem," 

Enjolras grinned at him, "Good, I want you to like it," 

"What if Combeferre sees?" 

"Maybe I want him to see..." 

"And everyone else too?" Grantaire rounded on him, impassioned, "Fuck Enjolras, our asses will be chucked outta here pronto dude, and I'll not only get the sack, I'll get thrown in fucking jail!" The realisation seemed to suddenly just hit him, "Fuck... man, I have to keep reminding myself... You look good Enjolras, real good. Don't stop doing whatever it is that you're doing..." he drifted off again as his eyes recalled what was under his shirt, then shaking himself he continued, "But besides all that, Combeferre already hates me enough as it is, don't give him any more reason..." 

Enjolras' face fell at Grantaire's words, hissed out the side of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I don't wanna get you in trouble man, I just meant..." 

"I know what you meant Enjolras, it's cool, just be careful, you're in the company of people who'd happily lock us up and throw away the key soon as look at us." 

Enjolras nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "That's not very christian is it. Most of these kids are so fucking wholesome they're probably too naive to recognise it even if it's right in front of their face." 

"Ha. You wish. You'd be surprised. We've had kids here before actually go around actively looking for shit that doesn't conform with their beliefs. A lot of them thrive off telling other people why they're wrong. I'm sure these guys all have their little certificates at home to go with their purity rings, and the sad thing is, they expect the rest of us not to judge them and respect their right to choice, yet don't offer us the same in return. They'd be the first to condemn us if they found out." 

"We're all fucked aren't we?" 

Grantaire laughed, "Yeah, well, I guess we'll all find out who was right and who was wrong when we kick the bucket dude." 

"Yeah, which will be sooner rather than later if they ever find out about us." 

"I know." 

Enjolras sighed inwardly, kicking the nearest chair and scuffing his foot on the ground, "I just can't believe they put so much stock in a fucking book, especially that book, you know? Can't they even think for themselves?" 

"They're not all like that, they're good kids, for the most part anyway..." A roar went up over by the fire, "Like Combeferre," he finished meaningfully. 

At that Enjolras looked up, crestfallen, as his eyes sought him out, watching him as he whooped with the other guys at the first flames rising dramatically into the air. 

"Do you think he'll ever talk to me again?" he asked quietly. 

"He'll come round dude, how could he not?" Grantaire nudged him in the ribs with a smirk, Enjolras leaning into him as he laughed, "I mean, look at you, you're fucking gorgeous," 

"Combeferre who? I think I'll just concentrate on you, especially if you keep saying stuff like that to me..." 

"Enjolras..." 

"What?" 

Grantaire took a deep breath as he composed himself for a moment, "Don't give up on him, give him time, he just needs time..." 

"I'll give him all the fucking time in the world if I thought it'd make any difference," 

"It will." 

"Not until hell freezes over!" he laughed, Grantaire rolling his eyes as he unstacked the last chair, "Or at least I get him away from the clutches of that fucking book. I'm gonna rip it up. I swear." 

"You gotta give him a chance to get used to the idea," 

"Why are you so nice?" Enjolras fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth, pulling it so it was just right as he laid down the last fork, before turning to lean against the table to face him, "You're so smart, and thoughtful, and funny, I really like you Grantaire," 

"Hey, don't forget _gorgeous_ ," Grantaire smirked over his shoulder, but Enjolras wasn't messing around in any way whatsoever, his eyes roaming up and down slowly, deliberately, in response,

"Oh believe me I haven't."

Grantaire stood stock still, facing the other way, paused in his final adjustments before he stopped, straightening up he shook himself, murmuring, "I like you too," 

"Then why are you helping me?" 

"It's what's right." Grantaire shrugged, finally turning to him, eyes still downcast, "It's what you want. And I want you to be happy," 

"I'm not so sure it is what I want anymore. If it ever really was. It was a pipe dream so long in the making that when it finally happened," he paused, voice cracking, "It wasn't how I ever imagined it after all. Besides. You make me happy." 

"Enjolras..." 

Their eyes locked, Enjolras looking up at him through his lashes. 

"Can I stay in your tent tonight?"

 

*******************

 

Combeferre laughed heartily as he was spun around the dance floor for the umpteenth time. He had no idea what he was doing, but he was having a whale of a time. The food had been excellent, and everyone was in high spirits, all dressed up and showing off. He had been in constant demand with a string of eager girls all over him all night, vying for his attention and his abilities, or lack thereof, on the dancefloor. 

But there was only one person whose attention he craved, and he was having his own fun over by the bonfire, toasting marshmallows and feeding them to his own posse of women. And Grantaire. Well, he was there because it was his turn to supervise the fire, but Combeferre was under no illusions that Enjolras was only there because Grantaire was. 

As the song finished, his hands now free from waving in the air like you just don't care, he politely declined another upbeat number, pleading exhaustion, miming that he was going for a drink. As he reached the makeshift bar, he contemplated heading over to the fire, see what was going down, attempt to ingratiate himself back into Enjolras' good books. Before his sudden burst of courage deserted him he grabbed a bag of marshmallows and headed over, squeezing himself into the huddle and reaching for a skewer as he popped open his bag. 

"'FERRE!" He was met with an ear piercing screech as the capsized girl from earlier targeted in on him. 

_'Fuck,'_ he thought to himself, he'd been so focussed on Enjolras that he hadn't even noticed her, but he smiled in her direction, placing his marshmallows over the flames as he tried to mask his dismay. He'd never get a chance to talk to Enjolras if she was there, demanding his attention as though he was her prized possession. 

He saw Grantaire pull a face at him in sympathy, and Enjolras shaking his head, brow furrowed, she'd obviously been doing their collective heads in for awhile. 

"I hear you're quite the hero," Enjolras offered, a hint of something Combeferre couldn't quite place lacing his voice.

"Yeah, nice one man," he heard Grantaire continue, clapping him on the back, but Combeferre couldn't take his eyes off of Enjolras, it was the first time he'd spoken to him since, well, since that fitful night, the night he walked away. 

"You're on fire," Enjolras said suddenly, his eyes burning into Combeferre's, with every bit of intensity as the first time it had meant something. 

"Huh?" Combeferre didn't know what he meant, he was too caught up in the moment, lost in a sea of blue shining in the firelight. 

"Your marshmallow," Enjolras nodded his head, "It's burning," 

Combeferre was roused as if he was on fire himself as he realised, "Shit!" he jumped up, shaking his stick around madly trying to put it out, his cheeks burning with embarrassment as laughter rang out around him for a moment before conversations continued, and Enjolras hid a wry smile, turning away. 

Shit. Shit fucking fuckity fuck. He cursed under his breath as he inspected the molten lump at the end, wondering whether it'd be edible. 

"Give it here," Enjolras said, reaching over and plucking it off with his fingers, breaking it apart to see if it was beyond saving, and popping half in his mouth. "Mmm, it's good," he said, his eyes closing for a moment as he licked his lips, then his finger enticingly, "Want some?" 

Combeferre was mesmerised, watching it disappear between those succulent lips, hardly registering Enjolras' question until he'd shrugged and put it in his own mouth at Combeferre's lack of response. "Your loss."

_Damn..._

He could've sworn he heard the word echo from beside him as Grantaire shook his head and looked away, his own brain repeating it a few times for good measure. 

When did Enjolras get so, so _damn_ , and his eyes.. his eyes were so, so _blue_ , so.. intense? 

Yeah, intense.. 

And his, _everything_ , was so, so.. alluring? Was that the right word? 

Combeferre was surprised to find he seemed to have reverted to base instincts, he wanted to think _hot_ , and when exactly did Enjolras get so fucking hot anyway? He had grown up without him noticing somewhere along the track...

And he looked amazing tonight, Combeferre was sure he'd never seen him in that shirt before, he'd remember, surely... But those thoughts were better left for later, when he was alone. 

He shook himself, mentally clearing the image of that marshmallow, and the way it disappeared, from his mind, fully aware he'd probably been sitting there gawping like a slack jawed yokel, as Enjolras looked at him strangely and continued the conversation he'd been having before Combeferre arrived.

Turning back to the fire, he figured he'd try again, placing a few more mallows over the flames, and asking the girl next to him if she was okay after her foray into the waters earlier on. His concern earned him an enormous smile and inclusion into the circle. The conversation was soon flowing around him and he started to relax, laughing and joking, and being happy simply with the few words exchanged and the close proximity to Enjolras, it was a start, it was something. It was better than nothing. 

He then had to contend with a good half hour of being questioned to death by his new number one fan, "Gosh where are my manners, I can't believe I never even introduced myself!" she gushed...

As she peppered her endless diatribe with "Don't you think so 'Ferre?" and "What do you think about that 'Ferre?" to the point where he almost regretted saving her from her own stupidity in the canoe earlier on. But she was harmless enough, and he managed to keep from burning anything else and keep one eye on Enjolras all at the same time. He didn't pick up every bit of conversation he was having, but just hearing his voice, knowing he was there, it was a comforting thought. He'd missed him. He just wished he'd get an opportunity to tell him somehow. 

Everything seemed to be going swimmingly, until the conversation went off the rails. Enjolras had gone off a few minutes before, Combeferre wasn't sure where, and two of the guys were scrabbling for the last marshmallow, literally rolling around and wrestling for it when one of the other guys looking on had declared them disgusting, and "acting like faggots." This resulted in a series of catcalls and vicious name calling ringing out from around the fire, the boys in question springing apart instantly, faces beet red and protesting, marshmallow forgotten, pooling into a river of molten lava at their feet. 

The conversation quickly plummeted into the evils of homosexuality and the dangers of it being so prevalent in modern society, with horrible, homophobic language and the worst kind of intrinsic bigotry on display, sickening in ones so young. 

Grantaire shook his head in dismay but kept schtum, whereas Combeferre found himself unexpectedly drawn on for an opinion... 

"Well whatever, they sound like sick freaks to me, those filthy gays! Don't you think so 'Ferre?" 

"Oh yeah, sure," he muttered hesitantly, all eyes upon him, before the next person spoke up. 

As the words left his mouth he couldn’t stop his own eyes darting around guiltily, and his blood ran cold as they landed on Enjolras, arms full of marshmallows, who'd stopped mid-step and was still, staring, at Combeferre, then at the guy currently mouthing off about _him_ , and everything he was.

As his eyes locked with Combeferre's, Enjolras reeled, wild eyed he stared down at him for reassurance, some kind of affirmation. He'd heard what Combeferre said, Combeferre knew it. He was literally at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as he tried desperately to say something, the right thing. 

With a stifled cry of frustration Enjolras turned and fled, kicking a chair in his haste, sending it flying. 

Grantaire and Combeferre stared after him, one without a clue how to fix it, and knowing he was the cause, and the other, well the other was Grantaire, who very much wanted to punch Combeferre in the face at that very moment. As Combeferre turned to look at him, halfway through stoking the bonfire, he still had no words to explain himself. 

"What the fuck did you say that for?" Grantaire hissed in his ear, to which Combeferre had no response, he could only stare back at him, shaking his head, "I didn't mean it..." 

Grantaire thrust the poker into his hand as he turned, "I fucking turn my back for one fucking second man..."

Hurriedly stopping to get one of the other counsellors to take over for him, he went to find Enjolras. 

..

Combeferre sat, staring into the fire, the flames consuming him, dancing in his eyes, as the flame in his heart went out. Snuffed it, fizzled away, he'd really gone and done it this time. Laughter rang out all around him at something unrelated and irrelevant. Everything was irrelevant now, nothing else mattered. He got up, determined to fix things with Enjolras once and for all, to reignite the burning passion he'd introduced him to, he'd shared with him, he'd barely had a taste before it was snatched away, and he wanted some more.

..

He watched from the shadows as Enjolras stood in the middle of a sea of tents. He had his hands in his pockets, silently staring at the ground, kicking at it aimlessly every now and then, then flinging his head back to stare at the night sky. Combeferre heard him sigh, a gut wrenching, heart breaking sound, before releasing a string of expletives surely capable of bringing a blush to the cheeks of a sailor. 

Combeferre was seconds away from making an attempt at conversation, keeping out of sight as he mustered up the courage to approach, trying to find the right words. But just as he was about to take that first tentative step, something stopped him dead in his tracks. It was Grantaire, slowly making his way towards him. 

Towards Enjolras. 

_’No,’_ Combeferre thought, _‘no,no, no, not now, it's my turn, I was here first, he was mine first...’_ He wanted to intercept, stop him from getting there first, tell him to go away, but before he could take the first step, the little angel on his shoulder whispered in his ear that he was too late, he'd procrastinated too long, _‘leave them be, it's all your fault, he won't want to see you anyway, after what you said’,_ and if that's what the angel was saying, he didn't even want to know what his inner devil on the other shoulder would add to that.

But he couldn't bring himself to turn away, he was rooted to the spot as Grantaire approached and Enjolras turned towards the sound of his soft call.

"Hey you," 

There was no mistaking the affection in his voice, and Combeferre almost closed his eyes in defeat and curled up in a ball there and then as Enjolras so readily walked towards him.

"Hey,"

"I was looking for you everywhere,"

"Well, here I am..." 

They stood facing each other, talking quietly, and Combeferre strained to hear every word, holding his breath, they looked so beautiful together in the moonlight.

"I know," Grantaire chuckled, "You okay?"

It was fairly obvious he wasn't, and Combeferre broke a little more at the way he hung his head at the question, knowing how much he was hurting, his own words being the arrows that pierced his heart one by one as he said them so flippantly, just to stay in good stead with a bunch of people he didn't even care about, at the expense of the one he loved the most. 

"I knew it'd be you,"

"What do you mean?"

"Who'd come after me. It should've been him. I thought he might at least say sorry, but I guess now I know how he really feels. Yet you're still here." 

"Do you want me to go?"

But it was the way Enjolras shook his head, and closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to Grantaire's so calmly, so easily, so hungrily, like he needed him. It was obvious he wanted him. Combeferre had known he wanted him from the first moment they’d locked eyes on each other at registration. 

_'That should be me,'_ Combeferre whispered, as Grantaire's arms came up to encircle him, cupping the back of his head, deepening the kiss as Enjolras pulled him closer, pressing their bodies firmly together, before breaking away, breathless, leading him by the hand through the folds of material, into the darkness of the waiting tent. The stifled panting, the breathless moans, almost instantaneous as they disappeared from view, Combeferre dying a little inside at the sounds from within, as the sound of skin on skin reached his ears.

Despite his own conclusion earlier that this was what he expected, what he deserved, that he knew it would happen, it was easier said than done, to accept it. Just as he’d made a final decision, so typical, after his brain constantly taking him back and forth, to and fro, weighing up pros and cons left right and centre about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, he’d finally settled on it, his mind was made, and it was slammed back in his face. 

Someone surely must be trying to tell him something, maybe the safe bet was the right one after all, at least he wouldn’t keep on getting hurt that way, at least he wouldn’t have to feel this much pain.

So he turned, he fled, it was over. He'd lost him. Finito. The end. Time to give up. No point in even trying any more when it was obvious Enjolras had made his choice. The better man had won.

 

.........................


	6. The Look Of A Defeated Man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The camp draws to a close, and Combeferre has a decision to make. Enjolras doesn't want it to end at all for... reasons. Well, one reason in particular.
> 
> Meanwhile, Grantaire has to leave the room due to a biblical rendition of Grease...

...

The next couple of days passed in a whirl of activity, as everyone worked through the exhaustion and tried to catch up on the time they’d lost from the storm. Eventually, they reached the camp at Luther Crest, their final destination, and things began to wind down. They had an amazing day of waterskiing under Grantaire’s instruction, which Combeferre found he thoroughly enjoyed despite himself. He was good at it he discovered, and he knew he looked good out there, with the wind in his hair, and he couldn’t help but begrudgingly admit that Grantaire was a pretty awesome teacher. 

After that, they suffered through the so called ‘musical production’ put on by the staff there. It was a cleaned up, condensed whip through of the songs in an almost reverse version of Grease, where, much to everyone’s amusement, instead of getting all glammed up at the end, a sombre Sandra Dee sings of shaping up, ‘cos she found her man, and her heart was set on God, to John Travolta’s ‘God’s the one that I want, he’s the one that I want, oooh ooh oooh honey, God’s the one I need, oh yes indeeeeed’. 

Combeferre found it utterly hilarious, but he could see the look of abject horror and distaste on Enjolras' face throughout, from all the way across the room, and had to stifle his chuckle at Grantaire’s poker face as he got up and left the room to hide his laughter, Enjolras staring after him mortified at having to remain behind. 

Combeferre missed him so much, his classic facial expressions, how animated he got when he liked something, and how vocal he was when he didn’t, it was the things he said, his little nuances that always managed to have Combeferre cracking up. He watched him from afar, wondering what would happen tomorrow, when they had to go home together.

To Combeferre’s house.  
And stay there.  
Together.  
In Combeferre’s room.  
For two more days.  
Together. 

Together.

He picked up his bible with a sigh as he stood, he could’ve sworn he felt Enjolras’ eyes on him, but when his eyes flicked discretely to find him again, he was filing out with everyone else, hands in his pockets. Combeferre turned, heading out himself, his eyes fixed pointedly on Enjolras’ retreating back, widening rapidly as they suddenly met their target, Enjolras looking back directly at him as he reached the door, smiling sadly before walking through. 

Needless to say, he didn’t pay a single bit of attention during worship experience.

But it was after that, that the weird thing happened. 

Combeferre was minding his own business during the private prayer time, staring blankly at the Book of Revelations. The opening line of the second vision was running repeatedly around his head, but it was a door opening in his mind instead of the sky, as he suddenly found Grantaire sitting next to him. He looked at him in surprise.

“What the fuck do _you_ want?” he hissed,

“Dude, you gotta talk to him, when you go home,”

Combeferre wasn’t sure what exactly was going on here, “What?”

“Please, this is killing him, just tell him you’re sorry, if he’s worth it, _and you know he is,_ you can’t just give up,”

Combeferre was dumbfounded, did Grantaire really think he had a chance? “Yeah, he is worth it, I do know he is, and so do you by the sound of you last night." He paused for effect, "So why are you doing this?”

Grantaire didn’t even flinch, “Because it’ll make him happy,”

“You seem to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself,” Combeferre couldn’t help the way it came out as a growl and his eyes narrowed accusingly.

Grantaire just shrugged as he got up, “Yeah, but I’m not you.” he said simply, walking away without a backwards glance, leaving Combeferre floundering in his wake.

Combeferre just sat there, the door in his mind wide open now and beckoning him in, and he dared to hope, dared to dream, standing on the threshold in trepidation, the possibilities therein seemingly endless all of a sudden. 

He had no idea how long he sat there, lost in glorious realms of fantasy until roused by the rumble in his belly, and the aroma of possibility in the air mixed with the scent of his dinner, a newly discovered hunger not just for his food, but for life, one he hoped he had the guts to live this time.

He stood up, a purpose in his stride and determination to make amends before the door slammed shut for good.  
The next morning, that was it. After they packed up, it was on the bus back to Camp Emmaus and then, home.

Home to Enjolras.

 

******************

 

All too soon for Enjolras they found themselves waiting to board the final bus, and he stared up at the entrance sign in abject misery, just as he’d done when he was waiting for his bags that very first day. He could hardly believe how he’d practically been dragged here kicking and screaming, all to spend some time with Combeferre, yet here he was now not wanting to leave, and that had nothing to do with Combeferre whatsoever.

So much had happened in such a short time, those few short days shaping his life, he could just feel it. He felt like he’d lived a lifetime of experience and emotion since he’d arrived here, and he’d take it away with him to be put to good use. A new and improved Enjolras, not so hung up on impossible dreams.

He felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder and a not so slight tug in his heart as he turned to stare once more into those gentle green eyes that had captivated him so completely the first moment he saw them. 

They’d said their goodbyes last night, under cover of dark in the quiet of Grantaire’s tent, making promises of keeping contact and whispered words of comfort and thanks. Enjolras would be eternally grateful to Grantaire for everything he’d done for him, and he didn’t plan on giving him up just like that, but all good things must come to an end. For the time being at least. 

The next chapter had barely begun.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he breathed, the words tumbling out desperately, barely registering on the air but Grantaire heard him, nodding, murmuring something similar and squeezing slightly again, his other hand coming up to slap him on the other shoulder as he gave him a sturdy man hug.

They stood together in silence as Combeferre walked up, nodding at them both, making bizarre eye contact with Grantaire for a few moments that Enjolras didn’t understand, and then the coach was approaching, the minutes running out.

“Have you forgiven him yet?”

“No,”

“If it’s one thing they want you to take away from this place, it’s forgiveness, isn’t that one of the main things they’ve been preaching about all week?”

Enjolras laughed dejectedly, “I wouldn’t know, I somehow managed to avoid most of that, being the good little teacher’s pet that I am,” he managed to smirk, bumping into him sideways with his shoulder.

Grantaire grinned at that, “You certainly are.“ the memory of that throaty growl would forever do things to Enjolras and he groaned internally, their shoulders still firmly pressing together, grazing, then just bumping slightly into each other again as if they didn’t want to be separated, but Grantaire's smile faded a little as his next words left him, “Go on, off you go, go get him, rip that bible from him like you said you would,” He pushed Enjolras forward slightly, to join the final campers making their way on board.

Enjolras stared at him for a minute, biting his lip, committing every inch of him to memory, “See ya,” he whispered sadly, lingering as long as he possibly could without arousing suspicion before hesitantly turning to climb on the bus.

“See ya baby,” Grantaire whispered, “Good luck,”

 

***************

 

“I’m becoming a minister.”

“I know,” Enjolras turned to look at him, “You’re always saying you’re gonna do it, it was bound to happen eventually,” 

He turned back to his bag, dumped unceremoniously on the floor just inside the door of Combeferre’s room, hunting for some clean clothes so he could go and have a shower, get changed, and crawl into bed and die. He was exhausted, and he was at the end of his tether. It had been a long arduous journey back to Combeferre’s parents house, and whilst Combeferre had slept through most of it as usual, Enjolras was incapable of anything but staying wide awake, dwelling on everything, wondering what was going to happen next. And secretly replying in a heartbeat to every text Grantaire sent, apparently just as bored as he was during his own journey home. 

Home for Grantaire, he had discovered, was less than an hour away from his own city, and that thought alone filled him with excitement and the thrill of expectation. It truly was a viable option that they'd be able to continue getting to know one another. He couldn't be more thrilled. All he wanted to do was continue their conversation for the rest of the night, but all too soon he was met with the sight of Combeferre's parents waving from the arrival gates, and hid his phone away.

They’d been home an hour at most, and after the obligatory questioning session resembling the Spanish Inquisition (under the guise of _oh-my-gosh-you-must-be-so-starving-let's-eat_ ,) had been bundled off to bed, no complaints from either party. 

It had been torture for Enjolras trying to keep his unhappiness off his face. He’d always had a problem with wearing his emotions on his sleeve.

Enjolras was getting ready, he’d been largely ignoring Combeferre, currently engrossed in his bible, flicking through, almost like he was looking for answers. He was definitely looking for something, and that was when he suddenly made his big announcement. Now he sat there, as if he was waiting for Enjolras to say something else.

“What?”

“What are you thinking?”

Enjolras stood with a sigh, hands on hips, “What am I thinking Combeferre?” 

“Well, just you’d normally have a barrage of abuse for me, and I, I just want you to understand…”

Enjolras spun back around, and Combeferre had never seen him look so angry, he was devastated, as far as he was concerned it was the final nail in the coffin, not for any relationship between them, he'd given up on that days ago, but for Combeferre's entire actual chance at life, his last chance of a life of his own going down the pan. 

“Oh I understand alright, and you wanna know what I’m thinking huh? I’m thinking that I don’t fucking give a shit.”

“Enjolras, please…”

“It’s your life to do with whatever the fuck you want, go ahead and ruin it by doing exactly what daddy wants you to do, see if I care.” He paused, finishing what he’d been doing in his bag and sat back on his heels, leaning against the wall as he took a deep breath, “I'm over it.”

Combeferre sat there, unable to meet the accusation and disappointment in Enjolras’ eyes, he knew the moment he did his resolve would instantly weaken and he couldn’t risk it. He’d made his decision.

“Oh... Okay then," 

Enjolras snorted with derision at how quickly Combeferre backed down, "Let me just ask you one thing, after everything we’ve been through, did any of that mean anything to you? Please Combeferre, if it meant anything at all to you, tell me now, it's the last time I'll ever mention it.”

Combeferre finally looked up, he had to be strong about this, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Enjolras’ voice cracked, a broken whisper, and Combeferre’s heart broke with it. 

No, that’s not what he meant, but he couldn’t go back on himself, on the promise he’d made to himself, not this time, not after all the time he’d spent thinking about this. He knew what they were really talking about here, and it wasn’t just about his chosen career. 

Who was he trying to kid anyway? Even if he did back down now, then what? It could never go any further, he couldn’t imagine himself ever being strong enough to let anyone find out about it, no matter how much faux bravado he felt after the throes of ecstasy when he wanted to tell the world. 

No, definitely not, let’s be honest about this, nobody could ever know, there was no way he could ever risk his dad finding out, his whole family, hell, he could already feel all eyes on him at just the thought and he squirmed uncomfortably on the bed.

He thought about all the little things, how they could never even walk down the street arm in arm, hold hands, and Combeferre wondered if he’d ever even have the strength to carry on like that, the effort of keeping up appearances would surely be his downfall. He’d only end up hurting Enjolras later anyway, somewhere further down the line when the pressure got to be too much. He knew Enjolras wasn’t asking for a lifetime commitment but he didn’t think he could risk everything for anything less. So he may as well get it over and done with now, put them both out of their misery.

“You’ve always got Grantaire,”

Enjolras’ eyes opened impossibly wide as Combeferre continued, “You think I wasn’t watching every single little thing you did? He’s stronger than I am, he can give you what you need,”

“You’re right, he's exactly what I need.”

Combeferre was thrown for a moment, he wasn’t expecting that kind of honesty, he shook himself, “Yeah, I really think he is. Because I've been thinking about this Enjolras, you and me, if we do this thing, we fuck or whatever, it can never be any more than that. No one could ever know, we’d be living a lie,”

"Ye-esss..." Enjolras frowned, he really wasn't sure it was necessary to be having such an awkward conversation, but he figured Combeferre needed to get it all off his chest, “You're right. Maybe we’d have each other, but it wouldn't be enough,” he agreed, “It'd be torture, no one else could ever know know,”

“Yeah..." Combeferre was slightly thrown at how little he had to explain himself, he honestly didn't expect Enjolras to just, go down without a fight, so to speak, he certainly didn't expect him to just agree, not so easily. It was like he'd been thinking with a lot of clarity about it all too. And had reached new conclusions because of what happened, what happened between them. 

To Combeferre it opened his mind, but for Enjolras, it closed it. 

He nodded, wrong footed, "Because soon you’d be wanting to tell someone, or someone would find out, you’d want more, a normal life, and you deserve it. You deserve a man you can take home to meet your parents one day, and lets face it, that’s not me, is it? Because I can never do that, can you imagine my dad’s face? That can never be me.”

“But my parents already know you,” Enjolras smiled ruefully, not sure why he was attempting a joke, but Combeferre laughed.

“I know, but you know what I mean,”

Enjolras nodded sadly, “I think it would've been a good cover, no one would ever have suspected a thing, but you're totally right.”

Combeferre had never seen him look this way before, the look of a man defeated, trying to find a way out. Truth be told Enjolras was beginning to wonder which of them Combeferre was trying to convince more...

"You know it’s true, you’re the kind of dude who’s gonna be comfortable with this, with yourself, you’ll be happy in who you are, and I don’t wanna be responsible for keeping you from being able to do all that, you’re young, you can find someone who’ll be able to do all that with you,”

“Yeah. And in time, I fully intend to do so. You’re young too though you know, don't give up on life completely. You sound like my dad for fuck sake!” He paused, realising it was Combeferre who was the fragile one out of the two of them, asked gently, “You’ve thought about this a lot haven’t you?”

“It’s all I’ve been thinking about for fucking days! At first Enjolras, I’d renounced everything, I was ready to live a new life, be a new person, I’d seen the light! The real light. You made me see it, and it was amazing. And in a way I still feel like that, in a lot of ways, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised I could never have more than a secret fuck here and there, whenever we happened to meet up.”

Enjolras laughed, incredulous, “Riiiiight. Had it all planned out huh? Well let’s just _not_ do that then. I can't live with that, I can't do secret, no one ever has to know you ever even considered it,”

Combeferre laughed too, and Enjolras attempted a smile at him in consternation, “What?”

“It wouldn’t be fair would it, to either of us. When I go to college and stuff, who knows how long it’ll be before we'd see each other each time, so it’s easier this way. You can fuck whoever you want. Grantaire’s a nice guy, I like him.”

Enjolras stared at him, “Uh, thankyou, I think?”

Combeferre laughed, “What I’m saying is, forget about me, just live your life.”

“Forget about you?” Enjolras stared at him in horror, “What are you getting at exactly? You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?”

“I am. I'm going away to college to become a minister and ruin my life forever, because that's what my parents want me to do."

Enjolras was silent for the longest time, before he suddenly rose, turning and heading for the bathroom,  
“Okay, fine. Have it your way. God you’re such a god damn jackass sometimes,” He slammed the door, standing there fuming, quietly muttering to himself.

He stripped his clothes off and turned on the shower. As soon as he stepped under the scalding spray he realised he’d stomped in there without his clean clothes, and he growled to himself in frustration. 

Leaving the water running he stepped out, and without getting a towel, he opened the door, walking straight back into Combeferre’s room. Water dripped everywhere , his torso glistening as he strode through the room, eyes on his bag.

“Forgot my clothes,” he huffed, bending to pick them up off the floor, fully aware of Combeferre’s transfixed stare as he turned again, pretending to ignore him as he walked back into the bathroom.

Combeferre stared at the closing door, mouth agape despite himself, fully realising exactly how stunning Enjolras really was. “Fucking hell,” 

His mind reeled at the sight, and he scooted back against the headboard and slipped under the covers, in case Enjolras came back and saw what he’d awakened in him down below. Combeferre groaned despite himself, fisting his cock a couple of times as the image of Enjolras naked and dripping stayed firmly in his mind. 

He heard the water shut off and frantically scrabbled to reach for his forgotten bible as Enjolras came back through the door. This time he was focussed directly on Combeferre, who stopped still, holding his breath as though caught red handed doing something he shouldn’t be. Their eyes locked on each other as Enjolras slowly made his way over. 

He’d wrapped a towel around his waist this time, but had merely thrown it on in haste before his confidence dwindled, so the rest of his tanned skin was covered in tiny droplets that were practically steaming off him, the sizzling atmosphere that had settled on the room was electrifying. Combeferre gulped, his cock now straining firmly against his belly under the bedclothes as Enjolras approached. 

He glanced down, taking in the upside down bible in Combeferre’s hand, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly as he plucked it from his fingers.

“You won’t be needing this anymore,”

Combeferre’s eyes followed as Enjolras ripped it in half and flung it over his shoulders into separate corners of the room, Combeferre’s eyebrows raised as he watched, before locking eyes with the still dripping man above him.

“That was a bit dramatic, even for you,” His voice came out as a hoarse whisper, 

Enjolras smirked as Combeferre fought to keep his eyes from roaming all over the hard, wet body in front of him. “So, here's the deal. When you go away to college, I will not forget about you, is that clear? We will continue to meet up every summer just as we've always done, and you can give your blessing to whichever hot piece of ass I happen to be fucking at the time. And that's non negotiable. Because I'm not giving you up that easy, you seem to think it has to be all or nothing and it really doesn't have to be like that.”

Combeferre was astounded, "Are you sure?" he spluttered, 

"Yes. Course I am. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it would I.”

"I didn't think you'd wanna know me after... what I did."

Enjolras paused, considering making light of the gravity of that statement, but going for sincerity instead, "I missed you, you idiot."

“I missed you too,” Combeferre looked chastened, but grateful for the sidestep, “I never meant to hurt you Enjolras,” he whispered the words, as if he could barely bear the thought of them, at what they implied.

“I know,” he assured him, 

“And I’m sorry,”

“Me too,”

“I didn’t mean it,”

“It’s okay,”

“No, please listen, what I said Enjolras, I’m so sorry,”

“I know… it’s okay,”

“It’s not okay, but thankyou, it was unforgivable…”

Enjolras thought about Grantaire’s parting words, about the one thing the camp was trying to get them to take away with them.

“Grantaire said I should forgive you,”

“Did he?” Combeferre was honestly surprised by that, 

“Yeah, he was trying to get me to talk to you all week,”

“Really?” Combeferre’s eyebrows were practically in his hairline now, that being the last thing he expected to hear, “He was trying to make me talk to you too, twice,” he admitted, feeling guilty that he hadn’t been nicer to him now.

“Did he? I didn’t know that,”

He nodded, “Yeah, he really looked out for you Enjolras, he really cares, I probably should thank him for looking after you,” Combeferre averted his eyes, embarrassed at what he was implying, “He did a good job,”

“Yeah, he did.” Enjolras nodded, faltering for a moment, his eyes downcast for the merest second. He knew what Combeferre was saying, that he was okay with everything, yet he couldn’t stop the pang of sadness that suddenly overwhelmed him.

“You’d have really liked him you know, if you’d given him a chance.”

“Yeah, I know.” Combeferre paused, not really wanting to ask his next question but desperate to know, “Are you gonna see him again?”

Enjolras propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Combeferre as though he was mad for asking.

“I know you want to,” he prompted, “And I don't blame you.”

Enjolras’ eyes were boggling at him like he was talking gibberish, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I just want you to be happy,” 

Enjolras was still reeling from his words, he wasn't quite sure why, “That’s what he said to me too,”

“I know. He told me that too… So I know you’ll be in good hands, because I know he makes you happy. Maybe you can introduce me to him properly some time…” Combeferre suggested, hesitant.

"Maybe I will... Let me get my phone." That was all the encouragement Enjolras needed, as he decided that maybe bible camp didn’t turn out to be so bad after all.

 

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

 

. . . fin...

 

...unless anyone has any other suggestions :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And goodbye to camp Emmau, which yes, is definitely a real camp that does actually exist and does do the things I inflicted upon the boys. Sorry lads.
> 
> ...I originally wasn't actually sure if I was going to have Enjolras end up with Combeferre or Grantaire to be honest, and I just went with it, but please tell me if you think it should've gone the other way? Or if they stay this way for now and then maybe... change? As in Combeferre comes to his senses? But then how on earth would Enjolras choose?? I don't know. Does he have to choose...? Can he choose both, please?

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason the boys are American in this, I know it's very OoC and wildly AU, I'm not american but it just kind of happened, because when I got this request I knew absolutely nothing about bible camps, and when I looked them up they tended to be over there... So yeah. Oh and the camp I sent them to is a real life one, and all the things they had to do, real life stuff they do. I've never been to such an establishment, which I'm sure is obvious, and I know nothing about god, again, obvious I'm sure, but I do feel Enjolras was awfully rude about it all. I hope his loudmouth opinions didn't offend anyone, (like the title did.)
> 
> By the way, where I live, the age of consent is 16. That is all.


End file.
